Bakura's Journal
by Authoress formerly knownas Liz
Summary: Bakura is forced to write in a journal? Find out what happens on several of his days! Shounen-ai alert! BR YY
1. Entry 1

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
I wrote this one for Chibazoo's fanfic contest! WEEE!! ^_^  
  
*****  
  
My hikari told me I should write in a journal. Something about "Enhancing my abilities to write in Japanese" or whatever. Fine, fine! So my Japanese isn't to good! Why do you think I'm writing in Egyptian! Hahaha!   
  
Yes...my hikari will not be pleased...  
  
I suppose I should start writing...something...  
  
I know! I'll talk about the stupid Pharaoh and his stupid hikari. Why won't they let me steal the puzzle! It's not like they need it! I have much better uses for it then to just wear around my neck. With the Sennen Puzzle I shall rule the world! Hahaha!   
  
Excuse me while I cackle evilly...  
  
Ah yes! World domination! Something else you should be pleased to hear! I am close, so close! Yes, so close, yes. Gold objects pretty...yes. I have two, and the Pharaoh has one I need! Malik won't give me his pretty gold object until I give him some card or something. How does he expect to achieve world domination with three pathetic duel monster cards?   
  
Malik scares me sometimes...  
  
Me! Me! Of all people!  
  
I should rephrase that. Nothing scares me! Malik just...kinda...ah hell...he scares me.   
  
My hikari just walked in the room.   
  
...  
  
What does he want? Look Ryou! I'm writing in the thing now go away!   
  
Slowly...yes...he's gone! Hehehe...he has no idea what I'm doing...  
  
...what am I doing anyway?  
  
World domination...ah yes! I should tell you my new plan to steal shiny gold items from certain spiky-haired pharaohs!   
  
First I will need to distract him! Yes, distraction! Maybe I should kidnap his hikari! No, too dangerous, would be dead in a second. I could sacrifice my hikari, yes! Then the ransom would be the puzzle! I am a genius!  
  
Ah, but then again...I could just steal it.  
  
Something is ringing! It is interrupting my plans! What is it? What!? What!?   
  
My hikari is telling me to pick up the phone. What is a phone? Is it that thing where you press buttons and little people appear on the tiny box? Hmm...I would pick that up but it looks rather heavy...  
  
Ring...  
  
Ring...  
  
Ring!  
  
RING!  
  
AH! I can't take it anymore! Where is this "phone"?   
  
...  
  
The ringing just stopped. What happened? Did someone pick up the phone? But the box thing is still here...  
  
Ryou just walked in again. I think he's mad at me for not picking up the phone. Hey! It's not my fault you didn't teach me what a phone was!  
  
Oh, now he's telling me to do my math homework. Okay, fine! I'll do my math homework! Just because Ryou doesn't think I'll be able to do it!  
  
...  
  
This doesn't look easy.   
  
...  
  
Tell me again why I decided to go to school with my hikari?  
  
...  
  
And that since I'm going to this "school" I should know what a phone is!   
  
...  
  
Damn. What does "Absolute Value" mean? I swear we didn't talk about this in that stupid place my hikari calls "Math Class".  
  
Ryou's laughing at me. He knows I can't do it! AH!   
  
I will go strangle my hikari now...  
  
...  
  
There, that shut him up. Now where was I? Ah yes. I was throwing the math homework out the window! Goodbye!   
  
I think I just hit someone.   
  
Nah, it's okay. It was just Jounouchi. Ah ha! Another topic for my journal thing: The stupidity of my hikari's friends.   
  
Jounouchi is one of the dumber ones. He couldn't even dodge the homework and book that I threw out the window. You have to be an idiot (or blind) to have not seen that! Well...Jounouchi is blonde.  
  
Who's next? I know! That girl. The one with the brown hair. I don't know her name and I really don't care what it is. I haven't seen much of her, other than that one time when I trapped everyone's souls into their favorite cards. If I could have just killed her right then and there...  
  
Ryou has weird friends.   
  
After that girl...there's a guy...who has brown hair. Don't care to know his name either, but apparently he has a strange fascination with Jounouchi's sister who's name I don't care to know either. Well, this makes Jounouchi mad so...go guy with brown hair!   
  
Well then...back to the pharaoh's hikari. His name's Yuugi right? Oh well, who cares. That kid will not let me take his puzzle! Die Yuugi!   
  
To sum up Ryou's friends in one word...I would pick: DUMB.  
  
...  
  
I can hear Jounouchi yelling from outside the window...maybe I should throw something heavier. That bookcase will do!  
  
...  
  
He shut up.  
  
...  
  
I think he's dead.   
  
...  
  
Yeah! Go me! I killed Ryou's friend.   
  
Aw crap! He's yelling again! Was that not enough for you?   
  
Maybe I should go out there...  
  
Ryou's awake. How do I know this? He stopped me. HE stopped ME from going outside and beating the living crap out of Jounouchi for not dying.   
  
My day's just getting better and better.  
  
He's questioning me.   
  
Yes Ryou...no Ryou...Of course Ryou...Me? Ryou!...Why don't you, Ryou?  
  
...  
  
Hikari's are worthless...  
  
But then again it is fun to say "MY Hikari"  
  
It gives you a warm feeling inside...  
  
...  
  
I did not just write that.   
  
Where's that thing you use to get rid of mistakes? An "eraser"?   
  
Whatever. As long as no one reads this, I'm okay.   
  
I feel dirty for writing that. Must go scrub self clean.   
  
...  
  
Okay.   
  
Is that Jounouchi yelling again? Wait...I hear two voices! Let's listen.  
  
...  
  
Okay...it's Jounouchi alright. Hehe...still complaining about the bookcase.   
  
...  
  
Is that Ryou!? Uh oh. Umm...maybe this is where I start running...  
  
He's coming up the stairs.  
  
EEK!   
  
Did I just scream like a girl?  
  
Well, my hikari can be very intimidating!  
  
...  
  
I did not just write that too.   
  
What in the name of Ra is wrong with me?  
  
AH! He just kicked open the door!  
  
These are probably going to be my last words!   
  
Umm...what to say? I will have my revenge Pharaoh!   
  
That was bad. Um...AH! He's got me! HELP!  
  
I'm dead. Goodbye.  
  
*****  
  
Liz: So, what did you think?   
  
Yami: You insulted me.  
  
Liz: No, BAKURA insulted you.  
  
Yami: Hmph.  
  
Liz: -_-;; Anyways R&R!! 


	2. Entry 2

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!   
  
Thankies to all people who reviewed!! ^_^   
  
Okies, here's the story people........I got bored.........Bakura is cool...........so I write chapter 2! Happy??? I am!!   
  
^_~  
  
*****  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...I'm alive!   
  
My hikari didn't kill me after all! But he is making me write more in this thing. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to insult people more! Haha!  
  
Even though I am not dead, Ryou still got mad. He locked me in his room and bolted the window shut.   
  
...  
  
I would have gotten out of it if he hadn't moved all his stuff out.   
  
My hikari can be so annoying.   
  
Anyway...as I was saying...I'm stuck in my hikari's room and I'm not aloud to leave. Why you may ask? Please refer to first entry and read the thing about Jounouchi and some bookcase.  
  
...I hear noises...  
  
Is it Ryou? Is he coming to get me! Yes Ryou! I'll be good I promise!   
  
...It stopped.   
  
Ryou? Hikari? Let me out!   
  
...  
  
I hear talking. Ryou? I know it's you! Don't make me threaten you!   
  
Oh crap! His dad's home! Um...quickly! I must hide!   
  
Okay...I'm in the closet. They won't find me here...yes...I'm hidden...they shall not find me...  
  
Footsteps...closer...  
  
Ryou's dad is yelling at Ryou and wondering why my pretty hikari threw all his stuff out of his room...  
  
Yes Ryou...I wonder why?   
  
I can see him now...Oh father! I have a yami! He lives with me! Please don't be mad! He may like knives and bombs and killing but deep down he's a really nice person!  
  
...  
  
HA!   
  
Ah yes! And then the explanation of why I was locked in his room...  
  
Father please! I have to keep him under control! Remember that nice bookcase you bought me for my last birthday? Well...don't be upset...but my yami threw it out the window...  
  
Please...keep ME under control? Yami no Bakura listens to NO ONE!! Hahaha!   
  
That statement just went against why I'm hiding in a closet.   
  
They are in Ryou's room now. Hikari's father is yelling about the basement being cluttered with his stuff that should be in his room. Ha...stupid hikari. It's his own fault he's being yelled at.  
  
But then again I kinda helped didn't I?   
  
But...It's not like I asked Ryou to drag everything out of his room and lock me inside it to teach me a lesson about having to be nicer to people.   
  
...did I?   
  
Oh well. Being in this nice little closet gives me some time to plan my world domination. Yes...back to this matter.   
  
Number of shiny gold items currently in my possession...two.  
  
Number of shiny gold items currently still needed before world domination...five.   
  
Let's see...who would be the easiest to steal from...  
  
Hmm...  
  
I know! Isis! She's pathetic right? What one does she have...the Tauk right? That stupid necklace thing. It's not like that has any powers right? Right?   
  
...okay new plan.  
  
I steal from Shadii! He sucks right?   
  
Oh wait...he has two. No! Curses curses curses curses!   
  
Alright then...Malik! Malik would make the...ah screw this. I couldn't steal from Malik...he's too...Malik-ish.   
  
Then there's the pharaoh...the one I've been trying to steal from the longest...yes...the pharaoh...  
  
Oops...seems I let my evil laughter get carried away. Ryou and his father are now staring at me.   
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Augh! It's now three hours later and I'm in Ryou's closet again. Ryou's outside in his room crying because his father yelled at him. Stupid weak pathetic hikari.   
  
And I feel sorry for him!   
  
I feel sorry for HIM. Is there something wrong with me? I do not feel dammit!   
  
...  
  
...curses.   
  
Fine...fine! I'll admit it! I care for my sad little hikari happy now you stupid journal thing?   
  
...  
  
Why don't you answer me!?   
  
...  
  
You dare mock me inferior journal!? Answer the almighty Bakura!!!!   
  
...  
  
Fine! There is a fire in the corner of this closet just asking for you!!   
  
...  
  
Ryou's asking why he smells smoke. Uhh...I didn't make that fire...here Ryou! Lemme put it our for you!   
  
...he left. Bye Ryou! HA! Now where were we Journal? Ah yes! If I shake you violently will you answer me??   
  
...  
  
What did I ask you anyway? Oh well...you will live...today.  
  
HAHA!   
  
That thing is ringing again. This time Ryou answered it...  
  
Oh! Let's listen to the conversation!  
  
...  
  
Okay, he's done. The conversation went something like this:  
  
~Ryou: My yami is very sorry Jounouchi-kun.  
  
...Inaudible mumbling...~  
  
Like hell I'm sorry....  
  
~Ryou: Yes...we're both very sorry Jounouchi-kun...okay...I'll tell him...Ja ne!~   
  
Then he hung up.  
  
Tell me what Ryou? What? What!? I can take it! I'm a man!  
  
Well...I was a man...now I'm a spirit zombie-like man.   
  
...Ryou's calling me. I think he's going to let me come out! Yay!  
  
What Ryou? We're going to the arcade? YAY!  
  
Umm...what was that Ryou said? "Ja ne" or something...  
  
Yeah...okay...Ja ne I suppose.  
  
*******  
  
Liz: Fine THERE!! I POSTED chapter 2! HAPPY!?  
  
Yami: I wasn't in it!! v_v  
  
Liz: Too bad. This is a Bakura ficcie!  
  
Bakura: Yeah! SO THERE!!  
  
Yami: What about me??  
  
Liz: You have your stories.  
  
Yami: Those are evil!  
  
Liz: Too bad.   
  
LOOKIES!! In the bottom left hand corner of your screen! There's a little box that says "GO" Click it and SUBMIT A REVIEW and make me and Bakura happy! -^_^-  
  
Bakura: ^_^  
  
Yami: What about me?  
  
Liz: No one cares about you.  
  
Yami: v_v  
  
Liz: ^_^ Just kidding! Well, REVIEW!! 


	3. Entry 3

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
I'm glad everyone liked chapter 2! So, I'm going to write chapter 3!  
  
MY FRIEND GARRETT WENT TO SEE JARED AND HE'S DOING MUCH BETTER!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!  
  
ON TO CHAPTER 3!!!  
  
*****  
  
Here I am at the lovely arcade! Though I don't know why I'm here, hikari just decided that today we'd go to the arcade!  
  
And...  
  
He wants to tell me something.   
  
I don't know what! Hikari is being too secretive! Maybe, he wants me to think that we're going to the arcade for fun but really he's going to lecture me about the bookcase thing.   
  
Oh the possibilities! Mwahaha!   
  
Lets see...what can I do to harm people today? Hmm...decisions decisions...  
  
Look! There's a kid playing a game! He looks like he has no idea that I'm next to him! How could he overlook ME? ME!? I am standing right behind him and he doesn't notice ME!?  
  
Tck...selfish bastard kid. Never liked kids anyway.  
  
Well then, back to the task at hand. It seems that hikari has caught on to my game. Damn. He knows more about me than I thought...  
  
That kid is looking at me now. You know...the one that was playing a game. He's glaring at me with these icy cold eyes...  
  
FINE! You want to have a glaring contest!? I'm the best at glaring contests! You're going down kid!   
  
Stare...  
  
Stare...  
  
Stare...  
  
Stare...  
  
Stare...  
  
Poke...  
  
Stare...  
  
Wait? Poke?   
  
Oh...Ryou's wondering why I'm staring at a little kid. Well HIKARI, I was staring at the little kid because he was mocking my greatness!   
  
He's not buying it.   
  
Well, what do you think I was doing Ryou?  
  
Oh.  
  
He thought I was just trying to torment little kids. That is fun...but that's not what I was doing! I swear!   
  
And of course...Ryou does not believe me.  
  
...oh well! Time to play games!  
  
Holy Ra! The pharaoh's here! And...and...his hikari! Oh no...oh no...more people are coming in...it looks like that brown haired girl and the brown haired guy I was talking about in the first entry thing...  
  
Oh no oh no oh no oh no...that means...  
  
JOUNOUCHI!  
  
Hehe...Hey there buddy...oh? You want to do what? Beat me up? Oh really...  
  
...if I glare evilly at him maybe he will go away.   
  
...  
  
He's not moving...what should I do?  
  
I know! I have a knife around here somewhere...where is it? I had one in my jacket a while ago before Ryou did the laundry...damn.   
  
Well, Jounouchi's moving away now. Excellent...mwahaha...  
  
Seems I need to find something else to entertain myself while I wait for Ryou to tell me what the hell's going on. Hmm...I know! I'll challenge the pharaoh to a game! Ha! That'll show him!   
  
...  
  
3 minutes later:  
  
DAMN! I lost! No no no no no! He beat me at that game where you throw the balls into the little holes or something...skate ball it was called? I dunno.  
  
Look! Another game! Hehehehehehahahaha! He will lose this one!  
  
2 minutes later:  
  
NO! I lost AGAIN! Damn that stupid pharaoh!   
  
Oh wait...he was dubbed "King of Games"...crap...Now I realize this!?   
  
Damn...  
  
Now he's playing a game where you stack the puzzle pieces...T-e-t-r-i-s...i think...whatever...  
  
...  
  
That game looks so boring...  
  
One of Ryou's friends just approached me...that girl with the brown hair...  
  
She wants me to play a game with her, something about "Friends always play games with each other!" to quote her...  
  
Let go of my arm! Let go! I don't want to play with you!   
  
Where is she taking me? I want to know! Wait? Is she taking me out of the arcade? Hey! Stop that! I don't want to leave! Let go!   
  
Is that a make-up store? Umm...  
  
...  
  
I'm back at the arcade...Ryou and his friends are laughing at me...  
  
Ah! I hate that girl! Do you know what she did? Okay then, let me explain:  
  
She dragged me into that make-up store and showed me all this make-up *against my free will* just do you know. So then, she sat me down in this thing and started putting make-up on me *against my free will* so you know that I wasn't okay with this. Then, she dragged me to the clothes store and dressed me up *against my free will* so I know we're on the same page here.   
  
Then do you know what she does? She drags me back to the arcade and presents me to Ryou and his friends.   
  
Damn pharaoh...it's not that funny! Shut up! Stop laughing! You too Jounouchi!   
  
Ryou? Traitor! You're supposed to be my hikari! I don't think a pink bow is that funny! And neither is this pink dress! It's humiliating! Not funny!   
  
Fine then! I'll just leave! It's not like I'm really needed here.  
  
Stop looking at me! Yes you you stupid fat ugly...umm...guy across the street! Yeah that's right! I'm in a dress! Shut up!   
  
AH! If I didn't promise Ryou that I wouldn't use my Shadow powers I swear that guy over there...  
  
Grr...  
  
Huh? There's this guy who just asked me if I wanted to hook up. What does that mean? He's giving me a weird look...what does he want!? Go away!   
  
A date? Wait a minute...this guy is...  
  
Uh oh.   
  
Some one help! This guy is scary!   
  
...  
  
He's following me. Leave me alone!   
  
Shut up! Shut up! I am not sexy! Go away!  
  
Stop whistling! Leave me alone!  
  
...  
  
There. I sent him to the Shadow Realm. Ha!  
  
No! Ryou saw!   
  
Uh oh.   
  
He's dragging me home.  
  
No! Don't take my journal away! No! No!  
  
Goodbye Journal!   
  
...  
  
*****  
  
Liz: There.  
  
Bakura: I'm in a dress!?!?! AHH!!  
  
Yami: HAHAHAHAHA!!   
  
Bakura: SHUT UP! *punches Yami*  
  
Yami: @_@ Ow...  
  
Bakura: Haha!  
  
Liz: -_-;;   
  
Thankies to all the people who clicked the "GO" box and reviewed! I love you alls!   
  
Now all you have to do is click it again! ^_^  
  
^_~ 


	4. Entry 4

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
O_O Who knew people actually liked this story? Maybe I'll win the fanfic contest for my genre! Hehe  
  
Oh yeah...I don't have access to my e-mail so anyone who sends me e-mail, I won't get it for a while hehehe...in fact, when I last checked it yesterday, I had 116 e-mails all with a purpose! ^_~  
  
Anyone who's read "Our Messed Up Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfic" will love me right about now...if they liked it that is...I HAVE A PICTURE OF STACEY (THE GUY!?) Yeah, that Stacey...mwahahaha...go to my bio to find the link ^_~  
  
On to Chapter 4!  
  
******  
  
It's been a while Journal...  
  
I finally found you!  
  
Ryou took you away and I've been looking for you ever since! And now...I found you!   
  
...  
  
I would hug you but I'm not that kind of person.   
  
Ryou never told me what it was he wanted to tell me. You know, what Jounouchi said or whatever. Oh well. I bet it wasn't important.   
  
However...what IS important is that I BEAT THE PHARAOH IN A DUEL! How did I do it you ask? Well, it wasn't exactly a fair duel...and he kinda was under the mind control of Malik, but that's not the point! The point is: I beat the pharaoh in a duel! Ha!   
  
The prize? Well, I won the Sennen Puzzle! HA!  
  
Look at it! It is shiny and pretty! It is gold and nice and...fake. Damn. I was so close!   
  
...  
  
Ryou's away for the weekend. Something about "School Academic Camp" or something. Uhh...yeah. I was just as confused as you are.   
  
What to do, what to do? Hmm...oh yeah! I'll tell you about the terrible conversation I had with Ryou's evil father!   
  
Here I was minding my own business when he comes walking into the room demanding entrance. Being the nice person that I am, I kindly let him in.   
  
Mean old father complaining about how he "doesn't know me" and that I'm a "troublemaker" and things like that. Being offended, I told him that he was mistaken. But of course, he doesn't believe me and starts attacking me with a knife. I safely dodged out of the way, but he wasn't so fortunate and fell out the window.   
  
Poor stupid fool is now in the hospital with slashes through his back and chest made by a knife. Hey, he could have done it to himself! Why does everyone look at me like that when I tell this story?  
  
I hope Ryou's not going to be mad at me for trying to stay alive.   
  
Update on world domination! There is now one less human on the earth thanks to me and my brilliant mind of evilness! One down and 4,999,999,999 left! Mwahaha!   
  
Sennen item list still same thanks to pharaoh's stupid tricky hikari.   
  
Made an attempt to steal Isis's item. Though I failed I thought the mission was rather successful seeing as I ran into her psycho brother. Me and him almost had possession of the Sennen Puzzle! So close!  
  
It took a while but I finally got all the perfume and hair spray off me! Damn that girl! I will never be able to live this down! I think I'll need to pay a little visit to her house with a knife or something else that just happens to be sharp and or pointy.   
  
Or maybe I'll just bring a nice poison that will slowly kill her...yes...  
  
Mwahaha...I think I shall keep my plans of killing that girl to myself seeing as you are too young to hear such gruesome things.   
  
I'm so bored. The house is empty. There is nothing to do. I would throw a party but all my friends are dead...duh.   
  
Look, a bird just flew by the window. Mmm...bird...sounds good...raw meat...bleeding flesh...  
  
Was I getting to gruesome for you? I'm not sorry...you need to get out more.   
  
I'm talking to an inanimate object...  
  
No wonder people think I'm crazy...  
  
But who cares! Hahaha! I am crazy! Ha! Yes! Me! Crazy! I'm still talking to an inanimate object! Hello Journal!   
  
Where was that place Malik was sent because people thought he was insane after he was running down the halls screaming "Get out of my head"? I swear he was talking to his yami but that's not what I want to know.   
  
What was that? Mental hospital? Ah yes...I'm going to have to visit there...  
  
...  
  
Did I just hear you talk?  
  
AH! I'm going even more crazy! Help!   
  
...  
  
I'm sorry I just threw you across the room Journal.   
  
Look now, I'm apologizing to you...I never apologize! Something is wrong with me! Ever since Ryou gave me you I've been...wait...  
  
It's your fault! Die!   
  
...  
  
I didn't mean that I'm sorry again.  
  
NO! Stop apologizing Bakura! Stop it stop it stop it!   
  
...  
  
Whatever.   
  
Oh! Gossip time! So unlike me I know, but I have to tell someone or I will die!   
  
I caught the pharaoh and his hikari making out behind the high school Ryou attends.  
  
Mwahaha!  
  
And this was no ordinary make out session. This was like, tongue war, hands roaming, someone-is-going-to-choke kind of make out session. It was like...yucky. Of course we always think it's ugly when other people do it, but when we do it, it's just fine if not addicting.   
  
How would I know? Well, I don't!   
  
Anyways, they caught me watching their little make out session and glared at me. Did I leave? No, of course not. So they glared some more and I continued to glare back until finally they just shrugged it off and went back to sucking each other's faces.   
  
Of course being the normal and concerned person that I am, I told on them! Hehe...I mean, I told someone that they were doing this so they could get help! Yeah, that's good...I mean right! Whatever. So I walked down to the Game Shop and casually walked inside where I was greeted by the elderly Mutou who was tending to a problem with some duel monster card orders.   
  
Yeah...casually...and...greeted...more like almost thrown out.   
  
Oh well. So I told him that I was concerned about the Pharaoh and Yuugi's well being and told him that I saw them making out.  
  
The look on his face was priceless.   
  
...  
  
Okay, maybe I wasn't concerned and maybe I didn't tell him the part about the well being...it was more like:  
  
~Me: Lalala! I know something you don't know!  
  
Old Man: Get out you crazy psycho!  
  
Me: Fine, I guess you don't want to know about what happened to Yuugi...  
  
Old Man: What about Yuugi?  
  
Me: Oh nothing...other than I found him making out with some guy named Pharaoh...I mean...Yami behind the high school...  
  
Old Man: I don't believe you...  
  
Me: Oh really?~  
  
Hehe...  
  
That's when I took out the pictures...  
  
~Me: See...  
  
Old Man: Oh my!   
  
Me: Mwahahaha...yes...take the pictures...yes...punish them...yes...  
  
Old Man: What was that?  
  
Me: Nothing.  
  
Old Man: Okay then...get out of my store!~  
  
And that would be where he kicked me out. Sad isn't it? I'm such a good liar it scares even me sometimes...  
  
  
  
I just had to tell you that! It was so...fun to do! Hahaha!   
  
Next day they were after me with evil glints in their eyes.  
  
That Yuugi kid gets more like the Pharaoh everyday!  
  
...  
  
I've pretty much talked myself out.   
  
...  
  
There has to be something to talk about.   
  
...  
  
I know! Umm...no...wait...uh oh...  
  
I hear voices! It's Ryou! He's home!  
  
I'm going to go and "glomp" him mwahaha...just to have him be scared yes...hehe  
  
Um...bye?  
  
...  
  
******  
  
Liz: WEE!! Another chapter!  
  
Bakura: Mwahahaha  
  
Yami: How DARE you tell Grandpa!! DIE!!  
  
Bakura: ACK!  
  
Liz: -_-;;  
  
Anyone remember that nice little "GO" button? Yeah...that one! ^_^ Yup, down there, it's purple! I see your mouse cursor moving slowly to it, then clicking it, then you typing a nice little message saying how much you loved Chapter 4 of "Bakura's Journal", then you hitting "Submit Review" and me receiving it and smiling...ooh...I'm getting excited already! ^_^  
  
Bakura: Psycho!  
  
Liz: Thanks other psycho  
  
Bakura: ^_^  
  
Liz: ^_^  
  
Yami: Okay...-_-;; 


	5. Entry 5

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
Oh, LOOKIES!! Another chapter! You know what that must mean then right? THAT'S RIGHT! I can't think of anything to write for YIDTEL! ^_^   
  
Okay, so I did start to write chapter 12 of YIDTEL, but I only got a couple of pages done...hehe...so obviously that story is harder to write than this one and YIBCL! ^_^ I'm so weird  
  
*cough* *cough* Anyways...here's chapter 5 of Bakura's Journal  
  
*******  
  
Mwahahaha! Hehehe...you'll never guess where I am! Haha! Detention? Damn, you got it.   
  
Okay then, I'm in detention! Ha! Yes, detention at school! What did I do you ask? Get in a fight with the pharaoh and throw him down the stairs? Then attack him with a random object I found lying on the floor? Then we run into the cafeteria and jump on tables and start throwing Shadow Powers at each other? Then we broke the tables because we were too heavy? Then we run out of the cafeteria and into several classrooms disrupting lessons? Then we jump out a window and into the faculty parking lot and destroy a few of the teacher's cars with our magic? Sent the vice-principal to the Shadow Realm? Got in huge trouble?   
  
Wow, you are psychic! I never thought you'd guess all that!  
  
That stupid pharaoh who thinks he's all that. They sat us on separate sides of the room so we'd leave each other alone. Yeah...that can so keep us from fighting. You'd have to put a concrete wall between us to even give us a chance of staying away from each other.   
  
Mwahahaha! The teacher thinks he can control me! I'll show you! Mwhahaha!  
  
So I casually walk up to the teacher...  
  
"May I please use the restroom?" I try and give him my best innocent eyes and nice tone possible. I bet I look really scary to him right about now.   
  
He's looking at me funny...but he says yes anyway! Ha! As I'm leaving, I scowl at the pharaoh. Haha! That's right! I get to leave and you're stuck here with that really stupid looking teacher who thinks that we're under his control! Ha!   
  
So I walk outside and take a detour away from the restrooms. Hehe...he doesn't know what I have planned.   
  
Let's see...it's about 12:30...people should be going to lunch about now...then they'll find the broken tables...haha!   
  
In school detention...I swear...whoever came up with that dies tomorrow.   
  
Hmm...there has to be some matches in my pocket somewhere...aha!   
  
Hehehehehe!  
  
...  
  
I'm back in detention. It seems people didn't like the stunt I pulled. I thought people would like it if I set fire to the science lab where all the flammable chemicals are! People don't know what's funny anymore.   
  
Of course, you think: "Oh how lame! Everyone does that in everything I've read!" Oh yeah? Well did they steal some of those chemicals? Really? They did? Okay then, did they douse the faculty parking lot with gasoline and set up a trap for any car that starts sets off the trap and catches the whole parking lot on fire? Oh come on, you know that's original!   
  
Fine! I can see that I'm not appreciated! Maybe I should find where you live and catch your house on fire! Would you appreciate me then?   
  
Mwahaha! That same teacher sitting in the front of the room is now regretting letting me out of the classroom.   
  
The pharaoh is asleep! Ha! What should I do? Lets see, I have a few matches left, and his hair gel seems rather flammable. Hmm...  
  
Mwahaha! Oh...the teacher heard my laughing...no! Not my matches! Give those back! No!  
  
Damn...  
  
I'm bored. There's nothing to do. I could try to escape again, but after the first time I did it, Ryou looked pretty disappointed in me.   
  
...  
  
Not that I'm in love with Ryou or anything like that! Of course not. Why are you looking at me like that? Stop it!   
  
Hmm...my hikari and Yuugi just walked in. It seems they are trying to get me and the pharaoh out of here...but they are failing. I'll get us out of here! Just let me use my Shadow Powers Ryou! Please?   
  
Ryou's leaving!? Why Ryou why!? Come back! Get me out of here! Ryou!   
  
I hate you...  
  
Okay then, there is nothing to do now. I know! Mwahaha! This is brilliant!   
  
I will knock the teacher unconscious and then I will escape! But...the pharaoh is a goody-two-shoes and doesn't want to hurt anyone *other* than me. Yeah...  
  
Well then...I can see that I'm not going to get anything done with him around.   
  
I'm so freaking bored! I think I'll draw a picture. I'll draw the stupid pharaoh! Mwahaha! Yes, the pharaoh...he shall die...hahaha!   
  
Oh look! He's fat! And he's short! And he's ugly! And his hair is sticking out in all the wrong ways! Is that his hikari? The one we can't see cause he's so short? Look! It's that girl Anzu! Here she comes! She's fat and heavy! And now the pharaoh is pushing her off a cliff! Haha!   
  
I think I will keep this lovely picture! Ha! No, pharaoh, I will not show you what I drew! Leave me alone! Stay away! Harassment! Rape! Ah!   
  
Hey! The teacher bought it! They're trying to pry the pharaoh off me! Haha! Serves you right you stupid bastard.   
  
Now's my chance! Haha! I'm free! Haha!   
  
Is that security? No! Run! They'll never catch me hahaha! Never! Bwahaha!   
  
...  
  
They caught me.   
  
Dammit!   
  
Ryou!! Help me!! I admit it! I'm weak and I need my hikari! Help me!   
  
He's not listening to me...  
  
Fine!   
  
I can take care of myself right?   
  
...where am I?  
  
You don't know? I thought you were psychic! Loser.   
  
Let's see...it's dark...it's made of brick and concrete and there are metal bars guarding my exit...  
  
What? A prison? Hey now...that's not very nice...  
  
It's morally wrong to keep people locked up in cages like animals!   
  
...  
  
Yeah...you know I was joking! Back in Egypt I kept people as pets! Mwahaha! Hmm...I wonder what happened to them after I died...  
  
I think I just heard an explosion. Hehe...did someone try to start a car in the faculty parking lot? Bwahaha...   
  
There's a guard walking by...he's looking at me funny...what? Haven't you seen a guy writing in a journal before?   
  
Yeah that's right...walk away...I showed you...  
  
Moron.  
  
Hey! Hey! What are you doing!? Hey! Don't come in here! Don't touch me! HELP!  
  
...  
  
*****  
  
Bakura: O_O WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!?  
  
Liz: Nothing!  
  
Yami: *trying to stifle giggles*  
  
Bakura: *glare*  
  
Liz: -_-;;  
  
WOW! You lovely people should be very proud of yourselves! You clicked the "GO" button and made me happy! -^_^-...can I ask you a favor?  
  
DO IT AGAIN! HAHAHAHA!!  
  
^_~  
  
Bakura: o_O  
  
Liz: ^_^ 


	6. Entry 6

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
MWAHAHAHA!! I wrote chapter 12 finally, but...I CAN'T WRITE CHAPTER 13! So, here I am again...  
  
****  
  
There comes a time in every man's life when he must...  
  
Run and scream and cry like a little girl! Help me! This guy is scary! Let me go! I don't want to wear that! It's ugly! I don't look good in black and white! Stop it!   
  
Don't take my clothes off! Leave those on! Hey! Those are my pants! Don't put that on me! No!   
  
...  
  
I hate this place. I hate everyone! I hope you all die!   
  
They're leading me back to my cage now...what if I don't want to go? Stop it! Get your hands off me! I know where it is! I can walk there myself!   
  
Although, I don't think I would go...hehe...  
  
You're all I have left now Journal...Ryou left me! I tried to call him and he said I deserved the punishment! Oh yeah? I hope you die Ryou!  
  
...  
  
No I don't...  
  
...  
  
Die...just die...this...guy...is...touching me...  
  
HELP!  
  
Quit it damn you! Ow! Don't throw me into my cage! That hurt you bastard! Oh yeah? You think you're all high-and-mighty? Just wait! I'll send you to the Shadow Realm! Haha!  
  
...  
  
Oh no...  
  
...  
  
I can't send him to the Shadow Realm! Why isn't it working!?   
  
Losing powers...  
  
Feeling weak...  
  
Hyper...ventilating...must...breath...  
  
I'm dying! Help me!   
  
Okay...so maybe it's not that bad...it's just because Ryou's not here...damn him...  
  
I need his power! AH! Ryou! Come back! Save me!   
  
I'm all alone now...  
  
Well, you're here right Journal?   
  
...Journal?   
  
...  
  
Fine! I don't need you! Well, maybe I do, but so what!   
  
There's this guy in the cage across from me...he's looking at me funny...what do you want you dumbass! What!?   
  
He's licking his lips...  
  
Hmm...this guy is fascinating...yet...scary...both at the same time...  
  
He's trying to tell me something...lemme get closer...  
  
It sounds like...  
  
"Hey there, do you have a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself in them..."  
  
...oh Ra help me...  
  
No you bastard! There is no mirror in my pants! Well, at least I don't think there's a mirror in my pants...wait...no! There isn't!   
  
Die...  
  
...  
  
That guard is walking by again...he's saying something like...shower time? I think...  
  
Uh oh...  
  
...  
  
Okay, I'm risking my masculinity here by bringing you into the shower...oh well...  
  
Soap! Soap is fun! I'm washing myself! I don't do that very often...  
  
Hey! I dropped it! Lemme pick it up...wait...why are they looking at me? It's like they want me to pick it up!   
  
Let's see, what could be wrong with this...I drop the soap...I bend over to pick it up...  
  
...  
  
I see where this is going...  
  
Ra have mercy on my soul...  
  
That soap is going to stay on the ground and I am getting the hell out of here.  
  
...  
  
Back in my cage...waiting for lunchtime...but of course...I don't eat. I'm just waiting for the moment when I can attack that guy in the cage across from me. He keeps thrusting his hips at me in an inappropriate fashion. Quite disturbing.   
  
I hate him...I hate this place...and I hate my hikari for not coming to save me!  
  
I would cry but then again I don't want to look like a pansy (like that Pegasus guy) in front of all the people who will soon fear me! Hahaha!   
  
There will be a way to regain my Shadow powers! I know there is one! I just don't remember it.   
  
Other than get my hikari over here...but that's a different story!   
  
Dammit.   
  
What am I supposed to do now?  
  
...  
  
I know! Plan my escape! Mwahahahaha!   
  
I will knock down that wall with my Shadow powers dammit I don't have them. What kind of sentence was that...  
  
I think I'm going even more insane...  
  
I hear something. Voices! Am I hearing my hikari? I must be losing it!   
  
Ryou IS here! Yay! He's letting me out!  
  
...how did Ryou get the one million dollars for bail?   
  
Nevermind. That doesn't matter. What matters is I'm free!! Yay!  
  
I'm going to kiss Ryou!  
  
...  
  
I think I just scared him. Oh well! I'm free!  
  
That guy in the cage that was across from me has his hands in his pants and he's doing...something...and looking at me...  
  
...I don't want to know...  
  
I think I'm going to permanently attach myself to Ryou now! Yay!   
  
I think I'm going to regret this but...  
  
I LOVE MY HIKARI!!  
  
Ryou! If you read this, disregard the message above! It's a lie if you see it! If anyone else sees this...it's a lie! Mwahaha!  
  
I'm going to celebrate my LIE.   
  
...  
  
******  
  
Bakura: I'M FREE!!!!  
  
Liz: Yes, and later you're going to confess your love to your hikari.  
  
Bakura: O_O NOOO!!!!   
  
Liz: YESSS!!!  
  
Bakura: v_v  
  
Yami: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!   
  
Bakura: *kicks Yami*  
  
Yami: O_O OWWW!!!!  
  
Liz: -_-;;  
  
^_^ First I would like to thank ALL REVIEWERS!! You remembered the "GO" button! Yay! *gives you candy* Now, I would like to thank "Towairaito Zoon" for the "Don't drop the soap" thing. *gives you money* I hadn't even thought of that! Hehe!  
  
Thanks to my friend Karin who gave me the whole "mirror joke" ^_~ *gives Karin money too*  
  
More reviews? PLEASE????? *begs* Okay fine....I'm done with that hehe.   
  
Yami: OWW!!!!!  
  
Bakura: Ha!  
  
Liz: -_-;; Immature boys... 


	7. Entry 7

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
^_~ MWAHAHAHA!! I found the first part! Okies, so that means that I can finally post this! YAY  
  
Umm..............anyone see the 2 new additions to my lovely fanfic list? They are prettyful........I guess..............  
  
^_^  
  
Chapter 7!  
  
*****  
  
Ryou has decided that I need to visit a psychiatrist.   
  
Me. Of all people! I don't need to go to some doctor! I'm perfectly healthy thank you very much!  
  
Ryou says this doctor isn't for aches and pains...he says that this doctor help people who have something wrong with their head.   
  
...  
  
What? Like an injury?  
  
...  
  
He says for insane people. Geez Ryou...you could have told me that in the first place! It's not like I'm denying being crazy! Okay...so I agree to go...I'm only going so Ryou will stop bothering me about it...but I still don't think I need any help.   
  
Ryou says differently.   
  
Well hikari, if you were imprisoned for over 5,000 years inside of pitch-black darkness with no one to talk to, don't you think you would go crazy too?  
  
He says that I told him I was already crazy before the whole ring incident.   
  
...  
  
So maybe I am a little weird...So what!? I like being weird! Is that some sort of crime?   
  
I hope not...I don't want to end up back in that cage in the jail ever again.   
  
Creepy...  
  
Okay...so we're in a car and Ryou's driving me to this place...I'm bored...I think I'll update my world domination chart thing!  
  
Number of shiny gold items currently being possessed by me: 2  
  
Number of shiny gold items currently being possessed by others: 5  
  
Damn, I still need to work on those numbers...  
  
Anyways...I almost got one the other day. See...me and Malik were playing chicken with the cars on the freeway. We'd run across the road and if you weren't hit, you won. We played several rounds until...  
  
I won. Malik got hit by this SUV sorta car thing and passed out. I thought to myself...hey. This would be the perfect time to take his Sennen Rod. So...I calmly walk up to his bleeding unconscious body and search for the item of my desires. Right when I said: "I found it!", who shows up? That's right! The pharaoh and his stupid hikari.  
  
I hope they die...  
  
Well, they ask me what I was doing feeling up Malik.  
  
...  
  
Then they saw Malik.   
  
I don't know if he ever made it...but if he did, remind me not to play chicken on the freeway with him...we'll use side streets instead.   
  
Well anyway...screams of "Oh dear God!" and "HAHA" and "Poor Malik!" and "AHH!!" came from the people.   
  
You can guess who "HAHA" came from...  
  
If you said the pharaoh...DIE  
  
If you said me...good for you! You win a trip to the Shadow Realm! Haha!   
  
Okay, so the pharaoh and his stupid hikari call 911...I have no idea why they did that. Malik was fine! He just had some minor cuts and bruises!  
  
Must remind self to send Malik a get well card with a car running someone over on it! Bwhaha!  
  
If, he's alive that is.   
  
Okay, we we're here now.  
  
Great.   
  
I don't even know this guys name! So what good is it coming here is I can't even steal his identity!   
  
They just called my into the back room. I don't want to leave you hikari! Wait...you brought me here...  
  
GOODBYE RYOU  
  
Okay...I'm walking into the room now. Hey, there's the doctor!  
  
...  
  
Oh no.  
  
...  
  
The doctor...  
  
...  
  
I know him! It's Dr. Dev! (YIBCL)  
  
Help!  
  
No! No! I don't want to be here with him! He's crazier than I am! Ahhh!  
  
I might as well commit suicide right now...  
  
Breath...breath...air is good...  
  
He's eying me. Eying ME. Let me out! He scares me and nothing scares me (except Malik who's like, dead haha!)  
  
Don't make me claw on the door! Get me out of here!  
  
He's smiling at me. You take that vicious smirk off your face right now! Only I can make the vicious smirks around here! But...there's nothing to smirk about! No!   
  
He's asking me to sit on the couch! No! I will not get anywhere near you! Leave me alone! What is he going to do to me? I've seen what he's capable of!   
  
If he sprays me with water again he will never again see the light of day!   
  
Bwahahaha!  
  
How does he thing he's going to help me!  
  
I HATE HIM  
  
...  
  
Okay okay...so I sit down in the couch thing across from this "Dr. Dev" I so know and love...right...This guy is evil!   
  
...  
  
Oh well, I'll get over it right? Right?  
  
...  
  
Wrong. Oh well. It's not like I care about him anyway.   
  
He's asking me what's wrong with me. And he's wondering if I had any problems with my past life. Well gee...I was killed early and placed into a gold object for 5,000 years. If that's not a screwed up past life then I don't know what is...  
  
So I tell him:  
  
"I died early."  
  
He just looks at me like I'm crazy...which I am! Haha!  
  
Oh well...who cares if he believes me or not. All that matters is you believe me because you're the only one that seems to care!   
  
Well, if Ryou didn't care, I don't think I'd be here. Though, it's not like Ryou's in love with me or anything…but at least it's nice to know he cares.   
  
But then again...I should at least tell him I love him..  
  
...  
  
But that would probably scare him and he wouldn't even get near me again.  
  
The doctor is asking me if I have a problem with my love life.  
  
...  
  
Well, I do, but the problem with my love life is that I don't have one! If only I could tell Ryou how I feel!  
  
...  
  
The pharaoh and his stupid hikari seem to have already told each other that they love each other...  
  
...that's why I caught them at the fair!  
  
Yes, the fair! Of course! I caught them making out with each other on the Ferris Wheel! Mwahahahaha!  
  
I found their grandfather and brought him to the Ferris Wheel, but of course, he yells "Get your hands off me!"  
  
...it hurt me deeply...NOT  
  
So anyways, Yami and Yuugi stopped and I didn't get them in trouble. I don't think I'd ever catch them.  
  
Please hold while I kick this trashcan in an effort to decrease my anger.  
  
Dr. Dev is asking me why I kicked that trashcan. I don't know...you're the doctor...you tell me...  
  
...moron.   
  
I need my knife. Where did Ryou put it? Damn...I don't think he ever gave it back.  
  
Reminder to self...find long lost knife.  
  
...and I was going to kill the "good" Dr. Dev.  
  
Hmm...I wonder...  
  
What if I were to mention that one doctor that he likes...but I don't know her name.  
  
The door just opened and some lady just walked in and told Dr. Dev that some "Dr. Spez" wanted to see him.  
  
I don't think I've ever seen anyone turn that red in my entire life...  
  
So you know what he does? He runs out of the room and leaves me ALONE. Now, only an idiot would leave me alone with a room full of peoples psychiatric records.   
  
Mwahaha!  
  
Let's see...I want to know if there is anyone I know that gets psychiatric help...  
  
Yuugi!? The pharaoh's hikari gets help from Dr. Dev!?  
  
This place is a gold mine! Hahaha!  
  
Let's see, Yuugi's problem is that he has no self esteem...hehehe...I can do wonders with this...  
  
"Yuugi Mutou is showing symptoms of depression and does not believe in himself."  
  
Um...I haven't seen anything like that...that's kinda weird...maybe it's a different Yuugi Mutou...  
  
Nope! There's a picture! It's our Yuugi! Hahaha!  
  
I think I'll keep this for later. I'll publish it in the school newspaper! I'm a genious!  
  
He's coming back! I hid the papers in my shirt...it's totally obvious...I'm an idiot...  
  
...but he doesn't notice! I'm brilliant!  
  
He's asking to see my journal! No! NEVER! No one gets to see my journal! NO ONE!   
  
...  
  
I must protect you journal!  
  
...he's looking at me funny...What!? WHAT!? Haven't you seen a guy and his journal before?   
  
...  
  
Oh well!  
  
I've had fun Dr. Dev...really...but I must be leaving...  
  
...damn, the session still has 10 minutes left...  
  
How long was he gone with Dr. What's-her-face?  
  
He wants to know what my feelings are for Ryou. If I love him or if I don't cause according to him, I express love toward him...moron...maybe I do love him, but am I going to tell you that?  
  
Idiot...  
  
I should hit him over the head with something, that would make me feel better, plus, I would get to leave...  
  
The doctor is asking if he helped me.  
  
...  
  
I don't think I'm any different.   
  
What an idiot/   
  
Well, the came to a close and that's when I heard the most horrid thing...  
  
"See you next week."  
  
Yeah...see you next week...in HELL! Mwahahaha!  
  
I really hope no one is reading this...  
  
GOODBYE DR. DEV  
  
I ran outside to see Ryou greeting me with open arms.  
  
I would gladly run into them, but I'm mad at him.  
  
...but I do it anyway.  
  
Ryou! You evil hikari! How dare you send me to see that idiot doctor! But your arms are so...comfortable...aww...I can't stay mad at you...  
  
Maybe I should tell him how I feel...  
  
Wait a minute! He said something! What? Repeat please!   
  
"I love you, Bakura."  
  
...did I hear that right?  
  
He's nodding.   
  
Holy RA! He loves me!? Um...what to do? Oh! Yeah! Tell him I love him too!   
  
Yeah, the look on his face was just beautiful.  
  
GASP. The doctor HAS changed me! But...he didn't do anything! He was just asking me questions...about...Ryou...  
  
GASP  
  
I have you Dr. Dev!   
  
I refuse to go back to this office! I'll take my hikari to the movies instead! Bye!   
  
****  
  
Liz: Well, that took long enough! I had this written on 12 pages of notebook paper and I had to type it all up! Hehe...that's what happens when I get bored in summer school!  
  
Bakura: I confessed my LOVE to RYOU!? *GASP*   
  
Liz: Yup! And next chapter......dun dun DUN.......THE MOVIES!  
  
Bakura: *GASP*  
  
Liz: ^_~  
  
REVIEW BOX!!! *jedi mind trick* ^_~  
  
|  
  
|  
  
|  
  
V 


	8. Entry 8

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
Nyahahahaha!  
  
****  
  
Here I am! Walking arm in arm with my lovely hikari as we walk to the movies! I had no idea he felt the same way!  
  
I feel all warm inside...  
  
And this time, I don't care to write it down!  
  
...  
  
I just realized something...  
  
I don't have any money! Ahh! I'm the seme...I should be paying for the movie! What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't pay for the movie!  
  
I know!  
  
Nyahaha! Here comes a guy! Go ahead, walk past me...oh! Is this your wallet? Oh! I'm sorry! Did I take that from you? Thank you sir! Wow, the picture on your license really brings out your ugly face...  
  
...anyways...I have money now! Now my beautiful hikari won't be disappointed in me!  
  
My soul purpose in life is to please my hikari!  
  
...  
  
And to steal the Sennen items which I will complete.tomorrow! When I'm not on a date with my sexy Ryou.  
  
So we're still walking to the movies and I'm still happy that I have money! Ryou says we should go see the movie called "Pirates of the Caribbean" but I say "Nya." I don't really care what movie we see as long as I'm with Ryou and that the...  
  
STUPID PHARAOH AND HIS HIKARI DON'T SHOW UP!! AHH! THEY'RE OVER THERE!  
  
Grr...I should stomp over there and kill them! Yes...and add their bodies to my collection!  
  
Ryou's dragging me over to the stupid Pharaoh. What? I don't want to hang out with them! They anger me!  
  
Ryou's talking with Yuugi and they seem to be having a good time.but they forgot one thing...  
  
The Pharaoh is standing beside me.  
  
So I decide to be nice...for once...and only once. I try to have a civil conversation with him, but all he does is glare at me. So I ask him...  
  
"Oh great PHARAOH, why must you act superior over me when we are in the presence of others? Alone, you would act like a mere peasant and bicker with me on and on..."  
  
Nyahaha...at least I might sound intelligent. I hope...  
  
He just kept glaring at me until his fag hikari Yuugi called him in. Then Ryou called me in.  
  
...  
  
Blah. We're in the theater now and Ryou just insisted that we sit next to Yuugi and his yami. Lucky for the pharaoh that he has Yuugi and Ryou between us or I would...  
  
I'm not even going to finish that...  
  
So anyway, half way through the movie, Ryou decides to lean on me. Alright, I don't mind.  
  
In fact, I like it.  
  
But then I see the PHARAOH looking at us. What? Haven't you seen a couple in love before? Moron.  
  
He's throwing popcorn at me! Die!  
  
So, me and him get in a food fight...  
  
...  
  
...which results in us being thrown out of the theater.  
  
I'm sorry Ryou! He started it! If he wouldn't have thrown anything at me, I wouldn't have thrown anything at him!  
  
Ryou believes me. Yay! No one EVER believes me!  
  
...  
  
Now what are we going to do?  
  
Yuugi is complaining that we never got to see the movie and he's been just dying to see it...  
  
That kid needs to really SHUT UP  
  
Alright, so we're going to a different theater. Of course, it was my idea seeing as I'm the smart one here besides my hikari. But how are we going to get to the theater all the way across town?  
  
You're the smart one Bakura, think about it.  
  
You're right voice inside my head which is probably a figment of my imagination! I AM the smart one!  
  
So, I guess we'll just have to steal...hehe I mean...borrow this car over here...  
  
Mwahahaha  
  
...  
  
Alright...Hehehe...we're at the theater! Yay! And Ryou is locked onto my arm and I am beyond happy! Why? Well, Ryou's one thing...the other is...  
  
We left the Pharaoh and Yuugi behind.  
  
Mwahaha.  
  
Now we can enjoy the move with out...  
  
THEM! AHH! HOW DID THEY GET HERE!?  
  
No matter...I'll just ignore them.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
They're following us...again. Why must they torment me!?  
  
Ah yes, cause it's their whole purpose in life...like mine...which is...  
  
Get the Sennen items mwahahaha!!!  
  
Okay then, I don't mind if you guys come as long as you GIVE ME THE PUZZLE!!  
  
Ryou noticed me staring evilly at the puzzle. Dammit. Now he's holding me back. You'll never keep me away! Never! You're only denying the obvious outcome! The obvious outcome!  
  
Qui dragging me away Ryou!! I KNOW HOW TO WALK!  
  
Grr...the movie doesn't start for another half an hour. I know! We can wander aimlessly through the mall that is attached to the theater and steal...erm...buy random things.  
  
I'm so thoughtful!  
  
No! NO! You guys cannot come with us! You don't deserve to be with my hikari! You're just a stupid PHARAOH and a stupid PHARAOH'S HIKARI.  
  
Morons.  
  
Fine! FINE! I'll just walk ahead by myself and plan how I'm going to steal...I mean...borrow the Sennen puzzle...  
  
Hehehehahahaha!  
  
Yes, the Sennen puzzle, the object of my fascination! It's gold and triangular and...uh...gold and pretty. I must have it! And it's powers! Then, I can RULE THE WORLD!  
  
And Malik is still in the hospital so there's no way he can take over the world before me!  
  
Which reminds me...  
  
I sent him that card with the car running a person over...and it's to be believed that he went insane and began destroying things in the room screaming "No!! DON'T LET IT GET ME!!!!"  
  
Yes...that's exactly what I wanted to happen mwahaha!  
  
Alright, enough of that.  
  
Has it been a half hour yet!? I wanna go into the movie so I can...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...throw popcorn at Yami! HAHAHA!  
  
And and...  
  
Catch Yami and Yuugi making out so I can get them in trouble! HAHA!! I even have a camera! Wooo! They are going DOWN!  
  
Nyahahaha!  
  
We walked into this store called "Spencers"...  
  
Hmm...this place looks extremely odd...  
  
Eh!? Is that a gummy bra!? Who would buy stuff like that!?  
  
Oh.  
  
I see.  
  
Yuugi's buying it...  
  
...  
  
Well then, I guess we're done in here. We should be going to the movie now...  
  
Disturbing.must not think about what Yuugi is going to do with that...  
  
Come on Ryou, let's go...  
  
NOW!  
  
...  
  
Okay, so I convinced them to go back to the theater. Now we're getting popcorn. Don't worry about it Ryou! I'll pay! Huh? The money? Umm...I borrowed from Malik.  
  
...  
  
OMG!  
  
...  
  
DR. DEV IS WORKING THE SNACK BAR!?  
  
Hey! I thought you were a psychiatrist!  
  
He says he is. But he needs more money. Psh, don't you have enough money!? You ARE a psychiatrist. Idiot.  
  
Fine then, we'll buy that. And that. Yes, that too. Why not? It's not my money! Yes, that as well.  
  
Nyahaha!  
  
We're in the theater now and we decided to sit in the second to last row since the last one was full.  
  
What are we seeing you ask? Tomb Raider. Bwhaha. Yes, the second one. We decided we didn't want to see "Pirates of the Caribbean" anymore. No, I do not think that woman is hot.  
  
Who would?  
  
Scary.  
  
Well, the movie started and it's kinda boring. I'm just concentrating on my hikari who's leaning up against me.  
  
...  
  
And there's also this kid who's KICKING MY SEAT!  
  
This kid is rather annoying...  
  
STOP IT! I swear if you kick my seat again you will not live to see the light of day! Hahahaha!!!!  
  
Oh, the kid is crying to his mommy now. Bohoo...how sad...NOT.  
  
Oh well.  
  
Hey! That girl on the movie, Laura or whatever...she's not dead yet! Die!  
  
This whole movie is stupid and pointless! There was no "Cradle of Life" in Egypt! I would know! So would the Pharaoh...but he's too busy making out with his hikari...  
  
Oh! PICTURE TIME! HAHAHA!  
  
I win! Now I will show this off to the old man and get them SO BUSTED!  
  
Nyahahahaha  
  
Boo! This movie sucks! I want my money back! Boo!  
  
Hehe...who's that? It's security? No! They caught me throwing popcorn at the screen! Hehe...  
  
HELP ME RYOU  
  
...  
  
AHH!  
  
They threw me outside.  
  
You could have been a little nicer about it!  
  
Stupid bastard mortals. YOU WILL PAY!  
  
I got my knife back bwahahaha!  
  
Oops.  
  
I just stabbed one of the security people.  
  
Oh well! His loss not mine.  
  
I have to find a way home now before Ryou finds out I was the one who killed that guy.  
  
Oh! Look! A driving school! Maybe they would let my HAVE one of their cars...  
  
Nyahaha!  
  
****  
  
Liz: -_-;;  
  
Bakura: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* JKDRG FGDC:OL *choke* IP YGDKGF!!! *deep breath* HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Liz: O_o Alrighty.  
  
I UPDATED WOO!!  
  
Special thankies to Suna2 for the throwing stuff at the screen idea, and onlyHAUNTED for the kid kicking the back of his seat idea.  
  
the one who posses Insanity- By my picture, you'd never guess I was Liz???? Hehehe.well.what did you think I looked like?  
  
Liz: ^^  
  
Oh yeah. This story bombed at the contest hehe. Oh well. Better luck next time I suppose!  
  
Bakura: YOU LOST HAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Liz: -_-;; REVIEWS PLEASE! I LOVE THEM! ^^ 


	9. Entry 9

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
LALALALALA  
  
Well, since I couldn't upload anything until Monday......this means......  
  
MASS UPLOAD TIME!!  
  
^_~  
  
****  
  
Driving school, driving school, DRIVING SCHOOL!  
  
What am I getting excited for? It's only a driving school.  
  
With cars...and...more cars! Nyahaha!  
  
I think I shall steal the one over there! But then there's this car over there! Oh OH! And over there! EE! So many cars!  
  
...I did not just write "EE"...  
  
Oh well.  
  
I sense my hikari is looking for me. Too bad! Mwahahahaha! I need some "alone" time with the cars.  
  
Some guy just walked past me. I think he thinks that I think that I'm going to be thinking about stealing that car over there. Aye, confusing! Now he's looking at me funny. I suppose that he finds it amusing that I'm walking around laughing to myself while writing in a journal.  
  
Well you know what? I don't care what you think! So what do you have to say to that!? HA!  
  
That Corvette over there looks very lovely...yessss....lovely it is. I think I found that car that I am going to be taking...  
  
Alright. So I'm in the car. That guy who was looking at me funny is now yelling at me to get out of the car. Oh yeah? Well fuck you!  
  
Nyahaha! Start the car start the car start the car! Uh...move the car move the car move the car!  
  
Hahaha! You'll never catch me! Never! Never! Mwahaha! There's nothing you can do to stop me!  
  
...  
  
Except put a roadblock in front of me.  
  
...  
  
Dammit! I was so close! Now they've got me in "Traffic School". Bah. What rules did I break?  
  
...  
  
Don't answer that.  
  
Tap the desk. Tap tap tap. The guy teacher thing is very boring. I think I shall ignore him and update world domination list!  
  
I blew something up! Yes, that's right! I blew something up! Mwahaha!  
  
...  
  
What was it that I blew up you ask? Well, that's not important. What is important is I blew something up!  
  
Currently in the possession of me the Sennen Items: 1  
  
Currently in the possession of others the Sennes Items: 6  
  
Ack! No! I LOST an item! Where did the Sennen Eye go!? This is not good. Not good at all. This is not helping my plans for world domination at all!  
  
...and neither is this "Traffic School"  
  
At least they didn't send me back to the cages.  
  
Well, back to the more important matters. The Sennen Eye is gone! Stupid stupid stupid Bakura! What could have happened to it?  
  
...oh no.  
  
It's in the Corvette.  
  
Great. I crashed the Corvette into the roadblock in an attempt to get away! But all I succeeded in was smashing the Corvette and losing the Sennen Eye!  
  
This sucks.  
  
Ah! The teacher just hit my desk with a ruler. Yes sir. Of course sir. Yes, I AM paying attention. No, I do not know the answer to that question. Yes, I was writing in the Journal...  
  
Uh oh.  
  
No! No! Don't take my journal! It's all I have left in this cruel world! Please! Spare me the agony!  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Well, I'm out of "Traffic School".  
  
And I had to steal you back...  
  
...along with another Corvette HA!  
  
This time, there aren't any roadblocks! Just several police cars behind us and about two helicopters following.  
  
Yes, yes! Follow me...to HELL! Hahaha!  
  
What? I'm serious! I'm going to drive this car over that cliff down there! And at the last possible second, jump into the Sennen Ring and be saved! While they fall towards their deaths! Ha!  
  
Brilliant plan, yes. I know. Oh journal, no need to flatter me! This is as much your idea as mine!  
  
...  
  
Mwahahaha!  
  
Yes! 160...170...180...faster! They'll never catch me! Never!  
  
...  
  
That is what I said before....then they caught me. So nevermind then!  
  
Oh! Ryou's calling me through mind link! Yes my pretty hikari? Oh. You saw me on the news. No! I did not steal this car! I just borrowed it...with the intention of not returning it. Mwaha!  
  
I don't care if you don't approve! You think you own me, hikari! I'm my own person!  
  
No! No! Don't throw the ring into the lake! No! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Please! I'll be good!  
  
Fine...I'll stop the car.  
  
...  
  
There.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Now we're back at our house and I'm being yelled at by Ryou.  
  
Also, his dad's back.  
  
His dad still does not approve of me being here. Nor does he approve of my hand resting casually on my hikari's ass. What? Do you have a problem with that?  
  
No! I will not remove my hand! It's making my hikari blush! And he's cute when he blushes!  
  
My mom? What? Did you just insult my mother!? Oh yeah? Well, same to you!  
  
Stupid ignorant bastard. He has no idea that my mother is actually dead, and if she was alive, she'd be about 5,000 years old. Moron. He's stupid for not knowing that.  
  
In fact, the world is stupid for not knowing that I am the greatest tomb robber that ever lived!  
  
So there HA!  
  
Oh great. Now everyone's arguing. Me, Ryou, and his dad. Everyone's just screaming at each other. Hikari is yelling because he wants to me to stay with them. Hikari's dad is yelling because he wants me to leave. And I'm yelling because I just want to fit in with everyone!  
  
So we're all one big happy yelling family!  
  
...with Ryou running to his room crying.  
  
Hikari! Come back!  
  
...  
  
Hey! Why aren't I going anywhere?  
  
...oh. You stupid bastard! Let me go!  
  
Ryou's dad is laughing at me. He thinks I'm pathetic and weak. Umm...I think you have the wrong Bakura.  
  
Oops! Did I just "accidentally" send him to the Shadow Realm? My bad.  
  
Now, time to run upstairs and comfort my hikari!  
  
Hikari! Hikari! Hika---OOF!  
  
I just fell down the stairs. Curse these stairs! Feel thy known wrath stairs!  
  
...what's that noise?  
  
Oh! It's Hikari giggling at me from upstairs. Hikari!  
  
I'm hugging Ryou! Smile smile!  
  
Now I shall carry hikari upstairs...he's already upstairs. Okay....new plan. Go upstairs, then carry Ryou into bedroom. Yes.  
  
Bon voyage!  
  
******  
  
Liz: *sigh* Look at all the stuff I got done cause of stupid reporting. Bah. Hehe.  
  
Bakura: FFFFF!!!! *cursing*  
  
Liz: O_o  
  
Bakura: HISS! *flees*  
  
Liz: Riiiiiight.  
  
Well, please review! Also, if it's up, review YIDTEL too. I'm hoping to get it's 577 reviews back, but then again, it's summary will say to add all the reviews to 577. ^_~  
  
Liz: Fun! Well, REVIEW! 


	10. Entry 10

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
Oki, well, I had a little contest to see who could find my picture on Bryan's website first, and the winner was CyberDrac (Jerry)! And he chose to be in Bakura's Journal! ^^.  
  
And be nice to the contest winner please hehe. ^_~ No harassing.......that's MY job hehehehe.  
  
Also, read his stories cause I said so *over does jedi mind trick*  
  
*****  
  
Where am I?  
  
...  
  
It's dark, and cold, and scary, and...  
  
...oh. I'm in Ryou's room. Why would I be in his room again? Oh...that...yup. That's what happened...  
  
Subject change! Today I have decided that I will buy my hikari a gift for being my hikari. That's the only reason! Then, he shall give me the present for being a better yami than he is a hikari.  
  
Yessss...I shall go shopping...now!  
  
Outside! Gah! It's cold! Oh well. I didn't think it was that early!  
  
Hey! I thought the sun was supposed to be out in the morning! Stupid sun! When I have all the Sennen items, I will control the schedule of the sun! It will work for me! Ahahaha!  
  
Speaking of Sennen Items...  
  
Number of Sennen Items in possession of the great and almighty ME: 1  
  
Number of Sennen Items in possession of people other than the great and almighty ME: 6  
  
...I am in serious need of some items.  
  
Though I did have a dream that Malik was out of the hospital! And he gave me the Sennen Rod! And he smiled and said: "Here Bakura! Take this! And why don't we stop at my apartment so we ca---"  
  
...woah there. Come to think of it, that dream was far too explicit! I should just forget the dream altogether! Where's the eraser?  
  
Why aren't any of these stores open!? It's only 3:00! Shouldn't there be some place smart enough to be open! Wait, you know what? I'm just going to break into the nearest place! And the random place I choose is...  
  
...???  
  
McDonald's!?!??! WTF!? Where did that come from!? Oh well! I promise is a promise, right?  
  
Thought I didn't exactly promise it, so technically, I could choose something else altogether, but I did say that I was---screw it! I'm breaking in!  
  
I am a master at using Ryou's school ID card to open doors! I've been practicing! In fact, it works so well, that I took his card, and he had to buy another one, which I took as well.  
  
Mwaha! The door is open! Now, to get some money!  
  
Wait a second. There's someone here! Who would be stupid enough to go into a McDonald's early in the morning?  
  
...stop looking at me.  
  
Oh look. The moron it pointing a baseball bat at my head. What do you want?  
  
Oh. He is apparently the "security" manager or something of the McDonald's. Good for you! Do you get paid much?  
  
Fun. He has a nametag. Hey! Don't get al violent with me! I just wanted to read your nametag! Get that bat away from me!  
  
Jerry huh? Well...Jerry...I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to take the money from inside that cash register. Hey, yeah, that's right. Get out of my way! Move! I need that money!  
  
No? No, you say? Well, I guess I'll have to move you with force!  
  
...  
  
Get out of my way!  
  
Look. I'll make it easier for you. I will spare your life, and you hand me the money, okay? That way, both of us are winners.  
  
Now doesn't that sound nice?  
  
Hey! What the heck are you throwing at me!? Stop that!  
  
Okay, I was going to be nice, but since you insisted on being...stubborn....I guess I will have to...do...something about that.  
  
Mwahaha. That shut him up. Now, I'm going to steal...I mean...borrow without the consent of others and no intention of returning...the money from that cash register. Okay? Okay.  
  
Bye.  
  
...  
  
Nyaha! I'm outside now. "Jerry" cooperated, and I'm happy. Now I will have to break into another store, so that I can get something for Ryou!  
  
Well, I don't know why I took money if I'm just going to steal something else form another store.  
  
You know what. I think I'm going to buy my hikari a flute. He's girlish enough, and the instrument totally suits him!  
  
Cough, I meant...steal...a flute. Er, borrow, a flute. Eh, without the intention of returning. Oh! And without the consent of others, can't forget that!  
  
Now where's a music store when you need one? Ah ha! There! Over in...that general area.  
  
...  
  
!  
  
...  
  
!!  
  
...  
  
Jerry followed me! RUN!  
  
...  
  
Wait, why the hell am I running? He can't possibly defeat me! Not even with that baseball bat!  
  
You know what? I'm just going to steal the bat! Yessss! That's right! Steal it! No more hiding the "s" word!  
  
Swing at me all you like buddy, but you're going to have to say goodbye to that weapon!  
  
Ow! That freaking hurt you bastard! That's it, you are going to the Shadow Realm!  
  
Bye!  
  
Now, where was I? Ah yes, I was going to get Ryou a flute cause he's a GIRL. To the music store! Onward!  
  
Hmm...well now. it seem that the music store isn't open. What a surprise! I mean, I am so shocked, I think I'm going to die of shock ness.  
  
Yeah, right. I totally saw that one coming.  
  
Inside the music store! Yay! It's so quiet...hmmm...and those drums look very tempting...  
  
Ah what the hell.  
  
Wohoo! Banging on the drums is fun!  
  
...  
  
Oh shit.  
  
...  
  
I just set off the alarm...  
  
RUN AWAY!  
  
But, I will take the flute! There! Now run away! Help me!  
  
Okay, well, I don't really need help seeing as I am ME.  
  
...?  
  
Who's that over there? Could it be...?  
  
Ah! It's JERRY!  
  
Run for my life! Ahhh!!  
  
Wait...  
  
How did he freaking escape the Shadow Realm!? And why is everyone freaking escaping the Shadow Realm!? I thought only I could do that!!  
  
Must vent out anger. Note to self...venting is good.  
  
Run some more! Ah!  
  
To the house! Yes. No. Ryou. What?  
  
I bought you this Ryou! Look!  
  
...  
  
Ryou loves it! Yay! Umm...I mean, that's very nice.  
  
I lost Jerry! Yay! I mean...gah, forget it.  
  
I'll just take my hikari upstairs for more fun! Yay!  
  
******  
  
Liz: Bwahahahahaha! It's updated!  
  
Bakura: Took you freaking long enough you whore.  
  
Liz: *smacks Bakura* Shut up!  
  
Anyways...  
  
MWAHAHA! Noticing the common theme yet!? Well, I kinda just posted it on my bio...you gotta look for it in there. My bio is kinda loooooooong.  
  
REVIEW BUTTONS MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY! IT'S A KNOWN FACT 


	11. Entry 11

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
EEEP! Sorry this took so long. I was on vacation and then my computer had a virus thing and my internet died. So, the only way we could fix it was to erase everything on the computer and start over. I lost EVERYTHING! But oh well. I will continue writing! YAY!  
  
On to chapter 11!  
  
****  
  
High pitched squeaky noises...  
  
Why oh why did I get that flute for my hikari? He's not very good at it! Maybe if he got a teacher to help him to learn, then maybe he wouldn't suck!!  
  
Oh wonderful, he's going to join the band at school. It was nice knowing you Ryou darling, your life was too short. I will cry for you...  
  
Yeah right. Me? Cry? Funny. That would be like, when hell freezes over, or something. Mwahaha, what a plan I have! I mean...  
  
...nevermind.  
  
Ryou-hikari is leaving for school now. Hmm...to go with him, or not. To keep my hearing, or not. To stay sane, or to...wait...I'm not sane. Ah hell, I'll go with him. In the meantime...  
  
Item update!  
  
Items currently in the possession of the almighty and beyond kick ass person named me: 6  
  
Items currently not in the possession of the almighty and beyond kick ass person named me: 1  
  
...where did I get all these items?  
  
Ah yes! I was walking down the street, minding my own business of course, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I see Malik running down the street with a bag. Now, I know, the first thing that comes to mind is "Why is he running?". I thought the same thing myself! But then I thought "Oh yeah! He's escaping the hospital cause they wouldn't let him out early!"  
  
Well my friends, he tripped and fell flat on his face. It was so freaking funny! I mean, watching his helpless body roll down the hill! It was great!  
  
So anyway, back to what I was saying...he was running with a bag. Now, I'm wondering what's inside the bag. So when he fell down the hill, I stole the bag from him and ran the other direction.  
  
So I get home and I run past Ryou so he doesn't yell at me for stealing more things. Alright, so I'm upstairs and I open the bag and guess what's inside?  
  
No, not money. I wish, but this was better. It was 5 of the Sennen Items!!! I was like "Yay!"  
  
So I hid them and Ryou will never ever find them! The only one that wasn't in the bag was, of course, the Sennen Puzzle. Why can't Malik ever do anything right? Stupid ass.  
  
Yay, we're at the school. Oh the joy and enthusiasm. I just hope that Ryou didn't join band.  
  
Oh no...  
  
He joined band. Now he's going to it. Do you want to torture me!? What did I do in my past life, other than steal and kill people, to deserve such cruelty!? The horrid sounds! My precious ears!!! Save me!!! Ahhh!!  
  
Well, I might as well do something to free my time. Let's see. I could go rob someone, then use the money to buy a hammer to smash the flute. Or, I could just steal a hammer. Then smash the flute. Or maybe I should steal a fireplace...  
  
I knew I shouldn't have gotten Ryou the flute.  
  
Well well. It seems that Ryou is so wrapped up in playing that he won't notice that I'm gone...  
  
Going...going...gone! Bwahaha! Now what? I know! No, yes, no, mwaha. I don't know yet. There just haven't been any very good opportunities to kill/harm/severely destroy something/someone. And what am I doing with all these slashes. Must learn different symbol for backslash.  
  
Slash...back...slash...slashing someone's...back...backslash...  
  
Nevermind, the backslash can stay bwahaha!!!!  
  
Now I am still puzzled. I have nothing to do and all this free time on my hands!  
  
Well, I could go visit my best-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world Malik, who is back in the hospital for severe facial damage and broken bones, and ask him if he is feeling up to running down streets. Bwahaha!  
  
I shall do that. Now, how am I going to get to the hospital of death? Lets see. I could take the bus of death, the train of death, the airplane of death, the car of death, or the subway of mortality.  
  
The subway sounds nice. Fast moving metal death trap...nyahahaha.  
  
In the subway I go! Wait, it's not here yet. Fine, I shall wait.  
  
...  
  
This is taking too long! Ahhh!  
  
Oops.  
  
...umm...  
  
I kinda pushed some guy...  
  
And he fell onto the tracks.  
  
Oh well! Sucks for him! Oh dear! Is that the subway? HA! Ha ha ha! Ha!  
  
Oh my, and there are the screams. Any blood? Nope, don't see any. Damn. Oh well, time to get on the subway and see my good friend Malik! Yay!  
  
...must remain evil and mean. No happiness.  
  
Psh, I will not lower myself to sitting on the seats of mortals! Bah! I will stand as the superior being Bakura!  
  
Subway...moving...alright. It's not going that fast---AHH!!  
  
Ow. Stop laughing! Stop it! All of you! Augh, SHUT UP! Who cares if I fell over! It's not funny! Shut up!  
  
Ow, I hurt myself...  
  
Oh yeah!? Well, all of your moms! That's right! SCREW ALL OF YOU!  
  
Maybe taking the subway was a bad idea.  
  
Oh well, for now I am here! Oh Malik? Ready for some visitors?  
  
Well too bad, he's getting one. Ha! And there's nothing he can do about it for I am me! The almighty Bakura! And no one stops me!  
  
Now I'm walking up to the hospital door! Nya!  
  
What the hell?  
  
It just opened on it's own! Hmm...step in, step out...  
  
Walk away...  
  
Run back through it! This is great! Okay, I'm done...  
  
Not! Run back through it! Okay, now I'm done. Now, where's Malik's room? Eh, whatever. I'll find it.  
  
...  
  
There! Ha! Hey Malik! How's it going?  
  
...  
  
Aww you don't look too good. Your face is all scratched up. It's just so sad.  
  
...  
  
Oh! Did you see that guy who stole that bag you had? He just took it and ran off with it! Lucky for me, I got it before he could do anything with it. It's at my house now...no, you don't have to move. Stop whining! I'll take good care of it!  
  
...  
  
Yes, the guy who stole it originally was the pharaoh! How did you guess? Oh, you didn't. Cause your mouth is stitched shut. Man, you really did it this time. Why are you pointing at the door? Say, what are you implying?  
  
...  
  
Did you just push that call button? Hey? Who are these guys? Get your hands off me! Leave me alone!!!  
  
...  
  
Ow! Oh yeah? Well, I hope you die!  
  
They freaking threw me outside! Oh, they will pay...  
  
...later.  
  
I have to get back to my hikari-lover-Ryou. Now, should I take the bus of death, the airplane of death..................  
  
****  
  
Liz: Ta da. I finally updated. Sorry it took long.  
  
Bakura: You suck  
  
Liz: -_-;; Whatever.  
  
Reviews are very nice! Yes they are! I love them!  
  
Bakura: Shut your ass, it's not working.  
  
Liz: And you are stupid so go away.  
  
Bakura: Screw you  
  
Liz: No thanks.  
  
REVIEW!!!! ^__________^  
  
Bakura: Blah! 


	12. Entry 12

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
Hello peoples! ^_____^ I got bored so I'm updating this! ^_^ Even though I JUST updated "The 6:00 News". Wow, I just realized that I used to update like, once a week. But that was a year ago. And now, it takes me forever O_o. Weird...  
  
I should be doing my math homework...and I'm not! *dances*  
  
****  
  
I just don't understand it.  
  
It doesn't make any sense!  
  
I didn't do anything! I swear!  
  
...  
  
What? I didn't!  
  
...fine.  
  
This is stupid. Malik decided to sue me for harassment and for stealing things. Malik doesn't know what he's talking about! If only I could get him to see things my way...but no!  
  
Bah, what's taking so long?  
  
Where am I, you might ask? Well, I am currently sitting outside of a courtroom thing, being interrogated by my own lawyer, and being bored at the same time. It's not my fault that Malik was annoyed by me presence! I didn't mean to harass him! Really!  
  
...okay, maybe I did, but no one can prove that!  
  
Mwahahaha!  
  
Alright, so now I guess I'll update my world domination thing! I killed this one guy who was being mean to Ryou, and I stuffed his body into a meat grinder, then sold him to some moron who thought he was better than me. Psh, no one is better than me. Which is why I sliced him in his back and took the rest of his money.  
  
Now the police think it was a murder suicide! Haha! They'll never catch me!  
  
Item update!  
  
Number of Sennen Items currently in the possession of the killer known as Bakura: 1  
  
Number of Sennen Items currently not in the possession of the killer known as Bakura: 6  
  
Hey! Where did all the items I got from Malik go?  
  
Ah yes...the police confiscated them to use as "evidence" in this trial. Psh, all of it is irrelevant. You can't prove anything you hear me!? Hahahaha!!  
  
Boredom boredom. I wish I had something to do to keep me occupied until this stupid trial thing starts...  
  
Oh! Nevermind! It's starting!  
  
We (The great ME and my lawyer) are walking into the courtroom now. I can see Ryou! Hi Ryou! Hey? Why did you look away? Ryou? What did I do now?  
  
Damn. Oh well.  
  
Hey! What are they saying about me? I should be restrained? I'll restrain you!! Hahahaha!  
  
I'm not...that...psychotic, I swear! I don't need handcuffs! You get away from me with those!  
  
Malik's randomly pointing at me and whispering something to his lawyer. What now?  
  
...since when was he well enough to leave the hospital anyway? Oh well. That's not important.  
  
The trial is starting. I used to love trials! They were very interesting! I used to have several different ways of getting out of punishment, but I already used them all. I need to come up with something original! Hmmm...the possibilities...  
  
My lawyer is looking at me funny. I don't think he believes that I'm innocent. He's right, I'm not innocent, but he shouldn't think that! He's being paid to think I'm innocent! Do your job you moron!  
  
Nyahaha!  
  
...  
  
Yawn. I'm so bored. I think I'll just draw a picture on these papers. La la. I'll draw the all mighty and sexy ME, with my wonderful friend THE KNIFE, stabbing everyone's most hated PHARAOH. Bwahahahaha! This is the best drawing I have ever done!  
  
...hey!  
  
...my lawyer took my drawing. He's yelling at me, telling me that I shouldn't be drawing on the papers that I apparently signed that proved my guilt. Whatever that means. But I don't remember signing anything! Except maybe my weapons permit. Ha! Good times...good times.  
  
These people don't know anything.  
  
Oh look. Malik is testifying. Yay. The joy. The enthusiasm...only not. I'm bored already. He's telling everyone that I deliberately came into his room and began verbally harassing him. Come on. Everyone knows that verbal harassment isn't a real crime, and he can't prove that I was even there!  
  
Oh well. I'll just scribble all over this paper.  
  
...  
  
What now?  
  
Oh. Apparently I'm scribbling on more "very important legal documents". What kind of documents could be so important that you couldn't scribble on them?  
  
Ah. Those were the papers that had evidence against Malik. I didn't even know that those existed, cause I thought that he wasn't lying! Ha! He's doing something wrong! I win!  
  
...??  
  
Well lookie here. They want me to go up to the stand and testify in my defense. What if I don't want to? You can't make me do anything! Hahahaha!  
  
Fine, I'll do it.  
  
"Where were you on the night of...blah blah blah..."  
  
...what was that again?  
  
Ah yes! Simple question! I was at the library reading a book about obtaining peace in one's house. Any more questions?  
  
"Did you, or did you not, visit Malik Ishtar on the night of...blah blah blah..."  
  
I did not.  
  
...what? That's all you asked me!  
  
"Where were you on the night of...something something...when Mr. Ishtar 'lost' his bag of golden items?"  
  
...I really hope this isn't televised. Shadii would be rather angered when he finds out what we have been doing with the items.  
  
Well since you asked! I was at the ice cream parlor steal--buying ice cream for myself and my hikari...Ryou...so we could have a romantic evening together.  
  
This is getting boring.  
  
Hey! There's a video camera in here!  
  
"Alright Mr. Bakura. You may sit down now."  
  
That's good. One more second up there and I would have lied my way right into my jail cell! No! I don't want to go back there!!  
  
Witnesses...all I need to do is influence the witnesses...I mean...nevermind...influence the witnesses.  
  
Wait...were there even any witnesses? I don't remember.  
  
Flashback mode...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Alright, so the security guards who threw me out of the room were somewhat witnesses...I think that was it.  
  
Who cares! Cause this case is over due to lack of evidence! Yay!  
  
...wait! Who is that running into the room!? And why is he holding a videotape?  
  
Uh oh.  
  
I thought I saw a video camera in this room.  
  
Great. Now he's showing the judge the "evidence" of the "paper" that I apparently "signed" to prove my "guilt". Hey! Quotation marks are fun! "I" "see" "that" "this" "is" "a" "bad" "thing".  
  
Ah! No! Don't drag me away! Leave me alone! I thought he was just suing me! I have a wife and kids! My job can't live without me! Uh...uh...there are so many things I have yet to steal! You can't lock me up!  
  
Who was that guy with the videotape anyway?  
  
...gasp!  
  
It was Malik's yami!  
  
They set me up! I totally see how this is!  
  
They framed me!  
  
No!  
  
I don't want to go back to jail! Ryou! Help me!  
  
Don't look at me like that! No! Don't cry! It's not sad! Okay, yes it is! No! I'm not crying! Ryou! Don't leave me!  
  
Or...I can't leave you Ryou! Don't separate us! I love you Ryou!  
  
The pharaoh is laughing at me. Who said you could watch my trial!? Get out of here!  
  
Still laughing...oh yeah!? Well, you're ugly! Ha!  
  
Eeeep! Not jail again! No!  
  
...  
  
...blink.  
  
...blink blink.  
  
...why are they all laughing at me?  
  
Even the guards are laughing at me!  
  
Hey! Who is that over there? Why is he wearing a weird hat?  
  
I got...what? Punk'd? What's that?  
  
...  
  
...oh.  
  
I think I have finally reached an all time low.  
  
I think I'm going to retreat to the ring and never come back.  
  
...this isn't funny! All of you! Stop laughing!  
  
Fine! See if I ever talk to any of you again!  
  
...  
  
*****  
  
Liz: MWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Bakura: *chokes Liz* I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME!  
  
Liz: @_X adkjafkjsfgasf!!!! *kicks Bakura*  
  
Bakura: O_O *falls over* OWWW!  
  
Liz: *composes self* Well well. I see we have reached the bottom of another chapter, now haven't we?  
  
Bakura: x_X  
  
Liz: ^______^ Review!  
  
Yami: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Bakura: SHUT UP! *attacks Yami*  
  
Yami: AHHH! 


	13. Entry 13

Bakura's Journal  
  
By Liz  
  
Well well well! Who knew I'd be updating! Actually, I've been working on a few things. Like ch. 21 to YIDTEL (which got taken down AGAIN! AUGHHH!), and ch. 2 to Beautiful Island Hawaii.....I can't believe I started a new fic...  
  
Remember when I skipped my homework to write chapters? Especially my math homework? Well...I have to re-take my math class! How FUN!!! See what fanfics do to me!? Gwaaaa....  
  
Alrighty then...moving to chapter 13!  
  
####  
  
I'm going to cry...  
  
No...scratch that...I'm not going to cry...I'm going to kill someone! I just saw that stupid Punk'd thing they did on me! I can't believe that someone had the nerve to show that on national TV! I feel violated! I feel terrible! I feel like...like...stealing something! Mwahahahaha!!!!  
  
Let's see. I think I should go after the Sennen Items...seeing as I haven't done that in a while...  
  
Sennen Items currently in the possession of the extremely sexy spirit with the really sexy hikari that loves to scream...if you know what I mean...: 1  
  
Sennen Items currently in the possession of the extremely sexy spirit with the really sexy hikari that loves to scream...if you know what I mean...: 6  
  
Hmm...these numbers aren't very satisfying! Feh...you know what that means...  
  
That's right! I call Malik!  
  
...  
  
...hey buddy! It's Bakura! You wanna...hey! Hey! He hung up on me! I'm extremely offended! NOT! Oh well. I guess I'll just have to find something else to do...  
  
I know! I'll go to the museum!  
  
Why am I going to the museum, you ask? Well, Malik has a sister...that sister's name is Isis...Isis has a sennen item that could be very useful to me. That's right! The Sennen Tauk that can see the future! And then, I could change it! Mwahahahaha!!!  
  
Stalking alongside the outer wall of the museum...hey! What are you looking at!? Can't a spirit stalk anywhere without people looking at him funny!? I hate these times...  
  
Well actually...these times can be very amusing! Like that new invention, the gun. That's probably one of the best inventions yet. Oh! And the bomb! Very useful...  
  
Hmm...how to get into the museum...I could...  
  
Either A) Go onto the roof and jump through a sky light  
  
Maybe B) Attack a person, steal his clothes, and attempt to be him as I enter through the back door.  
  
Or...  
  
C) Walk in the front door and pretend nothings happening...  
  
Hm...I think I'll take choice A! Wait...choice B looks inviting...we can just throw choice C out the window...oh well! Choice A it is!  
  
Now, how to get on the roof...I could just take this ladder and...ack! Pharaoh! What are you doing here!?  
  
...I do not have to answer that! What do you mean "You're not welcome here"? I am welcome anywhere!! Of course I'm welcome in your house! No, that was Malik's fault...of course it was! Stop accusing me!  
  
Psh, whatever. I guess it's going to be choice C, seeing as the Pharaoh decided that the ladder needed to be moved...blah.  
  
Alright then, inside the museum! Hmm...how boring. Yawn. No wonder I haven't been here before. So boring.  
  
What's this? A stone carving! Wow, the last time I saw this, I was stealing it! Bwahahaha! Hmm...whatever, this is boring too.  
  
Voices! Aha! It's Isis! Another voice...who is it?  
  
Oh no...  
  
It's Malik! He's in a wheelchair! Still hurt I see. I didn't break your leg that badly! They haven't seen me yet. Hmm...I'll have to lure Malik away from Isis...but wait. If she has the Sennen Tauk, then she could have foreseen me coming here, and thus planned something to distract me, however, I know about this, so I can counter with something else and in the end, obtain the shiny gold Sennen Tauk. Mwahahahahaha! Then I will know the future!  
  
Now, how to get rid of Malik...  
  
...oh! This book might do the trick!  
  
...  
  
Hehehehe!!!! Man, the look on his face when that book came right at him! Priceless! Wish I had a camera...  
  
Now as Malik's being rushed to the hospital...I run up behind Isis, and take the Tauk! Huh? I have the Tauk? I did it? I DID IT! Yay!  
  
...Security? Oh no! Run away!  
  
...  
  
...close door. I'm home! They couldn't keep up with me! No one can catch the almighty Bakura! No one! Not one person---Ryou! Hello Ryou! What this I have? Oh, nothing...nothing at all. No, I was not on a stealing spree. If I was, don't you think you would have heard about it on the news by now!  
  
He's turning on the TV. Quick! Pocket the Tauk!  
  
Oh crap. Isis is on TV.  
  
Oh crap. Ryou's watching it.  
  
Oh CRAP. He found out that the Tauk was stolen.  
  
OH CRAP. He's coming after me.  
  
OH CRAP!!!! RUN!!! Ahhhh!!!!  
  
...where am I supposed to go now! My hikari chased me out of the house! Well, the Kaiba mansion has a few too many rooms...  
  
Open the window! See what a good thief I am! I've learnt to break into people's houses effortlessly! No one suspects that I am here!  
  
Except for that kid...what's his name...Kaiba's brother. Whatever. I'll just walk past him.  
  
Now, what room should I stay in? Let's see...open door...not that one...too, pointy and computery...  
  
Open another door...nah, this one's too, empty...  
  
Open another door...holy ra! Jounouchi!? Why is Jounouchi here!? Umm...is that Kaiba!? Hmm...no wonder he said he was getting a dog...  
  
Mwahaha! I so have blackmail now! Bwahahahaha!! Take picture. Wait, where did this camera come from? And why didn't I have it before!!!!  
  
Whatever. Still time to find another room. Open door...hey, this looks like a guest room...well, don't mind if I do!  
  
I guess I'll have to secretly live here until my hikari forgives me...or until I give back the Sennen Tauk...  
  
Yeah, like that's gunna happen!  
  
So! Now for updates!  
  
Number of shiny gold pretty things we call items that belong to Mr. Hot a.k.a ME: 2  
  
Number of shiny gold pretty things we call items that do not belong to Mr. Hot a.k.a ME: 5  
  
Damn that Pharaoh! I will get you someday! You here me!  
  
...which reminds me!  
  
I snuck into the Pharaoh's house the other day, and I totally caught him and his hikari doing hmm hmm hmm lalala hmm hmm!!! Let's just say that I went blind for a minute...then I yelled for their grandfather, and he came running over. He went blind too, but I think his wasn't very temporary...  
  
To say that the Pharaoh and his hikari were mad would be like saying that I was ugly. Haha. Meaning that they were furious, and I was extremely hot. Any other thoughts and this knife I'm holding goes through your neck! Mwahahahahaha!!!  
  
Okay, well, their grandfather was mad as well. I actually stuck around to see the old man get sent to the shadow realm. Very entertaining...however, it totally ruined all the other plans I had for getting them in trouble...oh well.  
  
Now for some nice sleep...if the racket in the next room would stop! Shut up! Both of you! I don't need to hear that!! My ears!! No! The vision in my mind! My mind! Auugh the horror!!  
  
Maybe this pillow will block out the sounds...or maybe I should go suffocate them...yesss...watch them die a horrible painful death...  
  
Then rewrite the Kaiba will and take all the money for myself! Yes! I shall do that!  
  
...after sleep...goodnight!  
  
####  
  
Liz: Soo...how was that?  
  
Yami: ...  
  
Liz: Okay...Review!!! Make me happy since I haven't updated in a while!  
  
Yami: Blah... 


	14. Entry 14

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

OMFG!! I got the YGO Sound Duel thingys and they KICK ASS!!! Now, read my story!

####

All night.

All freaking night.

That is how long Jounouchi Katsuya and Kaiba Seto kept me up. I mean, how long can you do that!? Well, I can look back on a few times when--too far. I'm not writing this in here! What if someone finds it! They can't know about my personal life! Just the lives of other people!

Like, Jounouchi and Kaiba...for example. Mwahahahaha!

Well, this guest room is rather boring. I think I'll go and do something! Now, where to go!

First, I have to escape from the Kaiba Mansion! Jumping out this window seems like a good ide---AHHHHHHH!!!

Scratch that. Jumping out the window was a horrible idea! Why did I even think about jumping out of a fifth story window! Idiot! Wait, no I'm not! I'm awesome! It was Kaiba's fault for building this stupid thing with more than one floor!

Oh well. Not like I care! Now, where to go? I've gotta find a place to hide the Sennen Tauk so that no one will find it!

Hey, what's that over there on the wall? Oh! A flier! Hmmm...Need to store items? Got no where to put them? Well, call 555-RENT-A-THINGY and we'll tell you where to put those items...

...woah. This ad sounds suggestive! Like that one time when me and Ryou were in the bedroom and he told me to--erm...nothing.

Hey, what's this flier next to it? Wanted, dead or alive for the theft of the Sennen Tauk. Hey! There's a picture of me here! ...

I'll just be taking this flier! Haha! Let's just light this on fire and throw it in this random building, shall we?

Mwahahahahaha! To the mall!

Why to the mall, you ask? Well, the mall has very many stores...which I can steal from!

Which reminds me, I haven't killed anyone recently! I must do that before the day is done. I have to satisfy my need to kill. Bwahahahaha!!!!

!!!

Look! Over there! It's the Pharaoh! And his hikari! Arm in arm, looking at eachother, saying sweet romancey things to their respective partner! Blah! It makes me sick! Sick I say!

No! Don't kiss! My eyes! Hey? Are those the Pharaoh's hands roaming? In public! Have you no shame!?

Whatever. I don't need to see this! I need to enter this store right here. Yup, this store is exactly the store I need to go into...

...erm...what store am I in anyway?

...

...oh no.

...no no no.

...anything but this store...

I do not wish to know the secrets of Victoria! Why would she just flaunt out all of her secrets like that!? When I have secrets, no one knows about them! Because they are secrets! And telling people your secrets defeats the purpose of secrets!

...that's why I don't tell my secrets. End of story.

Now, what am I supposed to do in this store? I have no use for any of these items!

So I shall leave!

And while I'm at it, I shall leave this mall! It is extremely boring and I think I've already stolen from it before. I need a new place to steal!

So I'll wait for the bus out here.

And while I'm waiting...I shall discuss my feelings about a certain Pharaoh who shall remain nameless...wait a minute. He is nameless! Kinda...until he was given a name by his hikari...who shall remain nameless...but he has a name...Whatever. You all know it's Yami. You know...whatever. Anyway...my hatred toward him has grown significantly in the last ten minutes!

Why, you ask? Well, it's because I remembered something from the other day! Also known as last week! Me and my good buddy Malik were in a candy store! And he was complaining that he didn't want to be there, and that I should untie him from his wheelchair and bring him back to the hospital. I told him that he was obviously out of it! Candy stores rock!

Anyway, he shut up, and you know who has to enter right then and there!? That's right! The Pharaoh and his hikari! Yugi apparently needed a "pick-me-up" after hearing that his psychiatric records were published in the school newspaper. And everyone was laughing at him and calling him a "depressed boy" and that he needed to "believe in himself"...I knew those papers would come in handy!

So Yugi was crying. And the Pharaoh was like, hugging him and stuff, and buying him things. He started to calm down after a while, but whatever. Then, the Pharaoh said he needed to take care of something, and that's when he left...

...and when I moved in.

I sat down across from Yugi and said hello. He kinda stared at me, giving me that look that most of my victims--erm, my buddies give me before I slice their--err, before I hug them...that's right...

Well, he was freaked out, and he tried to run away...but then I asked him about his yami. And he got all protective like, and glared at me. I was like, "Woah, sorry man", but he continued to glare at me. So that's when I started to move closer to him. And his eyes widened and he got really scared. I could sense the fear rolling off him, and it made me laugh!

Mwahahahahaha!

It was quite amusing to see the Pharaoh walk into the store with that evil, jealous, possessive, you-are-going-to-dieeeeee, kinda look. And it was hilarious! The moron actually thought I was coming on to Yugi.

Well, I kinda was...only to get back at the Pharaoh!

Oh but it gets worse.

See, then Ryou walked in. And he got really upset and stormed out. So, naturally, being the nice yami that I am...I completely ignore him and concentrated on the situation before me. Or as other people call it, the Pharaoh's fist colliding with my face.

So I got some bruises all over my face, and it was all his fault! I did nothing to him! So, now, since I remembered that, I hate him even more!

And I missed my bus! Dammit! Now I have to walk!

Walk back to that little guest room in the Kaiba mansion...

And while I do that! I shall update my world domination chart!

Number of Sennen Items that belong to the one person who knows how to use them right, and will have darkness befall upon this pathetic world a.k.a me, the best duelist/lover/person/everything!: 2

Number of Sennen Items that do not belong to the one person who knows how to use them right, and will have darkness befall upon this pathetic world a.k.a me, the best duelist/lover/person/everything!: 5

Hmmm. I have the ring, and the tauk. Now, I just need the ankh, the scales, the rod, the eye (which I have no idea where that thing went), and the puzzle...

Oh yes...we cannot forget the puzzle...

...that damn puzzle.

The Pharaoh will suffer if it is the last thing that I ever do!

Hmm...come to think of it, what ever happened to Malik after I left him in the candy store...I know he got out, but he looked a lot more beat up...

...I'd go visit him, but I really don't think that I'm up for it. Malik will be so heartbroken! Boo hoo, cry cry, sob sob, okay I'm over it.

Now where was the Kaiba mansion again? Ah yes! The huge building that just happens to be on the other side of the city. How did I get all the way over here in a short amount of time? Whatever.

What's this? A building? Kaiba Corp. it says. Well well Mr. Kaiba, I see you have a building here...one to steal from! Mwahahahaha!!

And now, I shall enter the building! Hahahahahahaha!!!

####

Liz: Mwahaha cliffie.

Yami: ...

Liz: O.o. Review please? hehehe


	15. Entry 15

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

Muahahahahaha! I learned that the same person who plays Ash on Pokemon (in the Japanese version) is the same person who plays Bakura (I don't know WHICH Bakura)! And the person is a chick! HAHAHAHAHA! Too funny...alright, now READ

* * *

Ah yes...Kaiba Corp. The one building I thought I would never enter... 

And for what reason? Why wouldn't I enter Kaiba Corp.? Maybe I didn't want to get close to Ryou's little group...I didn't want to be part of it. All of them scare me...every single one of them! And it's not actual scaring me...it's more of like, they are so weird that they scare me.

...or maybe I just overlooked the largest building in the city! That's it! Well, not anymore! I'm not going to be distracted! I am not going to walk by this building any longer!

Inside, yes! Wow, this building is rather large...

...whatever. There's a lady at a desk in front of me. She's asking me what I want. What do I want anyway?

Kaiba. Yes, I want Kaiba. No, NO! Not like that! More like, I want Kaiba...dead! Ha! That's it!

She tells me that Mr. Kaiba is not available, and she also asks me if I could tone down my maniacal laughter. Never! Are you crazy woman!? You can't tell me to tone down my laughter! Then it's not my laughter anymore!

You can't change the Bakura laugh! It's my trademark laugh! To change it is to change me!

Dramatic pose. Alright then! I guess I'll just have to invite myself up to Kaiba's office! No one is going to stop me!

No one!!!

Not even a broken elevator! What!? The elevator's broken!? You mean I have to walk up all those stairs!?

Sometimes I wonder if all this evil is really worth it...

...then I see the look on some poor dying mortal's face and that's when I realize that this is what I was born to do!

Mwahahahaha!!!

Pant…wheeze…cough...how many stairs does this man need in this building!? This is the future! He should invest in something like a teleporter or something...

...or maybe a damn elevator repairman! Augh!!!!

What floor am I on anyway? What!? Floor 2!? Auuuugh again!!!

Maybe I'll stop to take a break. Sigh. I'll just make myself comfortable on the floor.

Yeah, what are you looking at you freak!? That's right, keep walking! I hope you trip and fall down all these stairs you moron!

I think I'll have to put my foot here so that people will trip! Brilliant idea Bakura!

Why thank you Bakura! I am brilliant, aren't I?

You sure are Bakura! In fact, I think you should be the supreme ruler of all! You should own all seven Sennen Items and become the new Pharaoh!

Yes I should Bakura! I would make a much better Pharaoh then our current one! Super-duper-evil-death-glare-of-doom.

Mwahahahahaha!

Well, I think I'll just have to update my world domination chart. Even though I basically already did it today.

Number of Sennen Items that belong to the wonderfully brilliant and extremely sexy spirit-soon-to-be-Pharaoh Bakura: 2

Number of Sennen Items that do not belong to the wonderfully brilliant and extremely sexy spirit-soon-to-be-Pharaoh Bakura: 5

Damn you current Pharaoh! Damn you Malik! Damn you Shadii! And damn you stupid Corvette that lost the Sennen Eye!!

Damn everyone!

Hey! Don't kick my leg! No, I will not move it so you can "go to your job". You should have taken the elevator!

Stupid foolish mortal and his stupid logic.

Well, I suppose I should get up now. These stairs aren't gunna climb themselves you know.

...though with a little persuasion...

Ah nevermind. What floor is Kaiba's office on anyway? Let's take a look at this map that is conveniently placed here on this wall.

...279!? Who in their right mind would put 279 floors in one building!? And only ONE elevator!? Which is broken!! I swear, when I eventually get to the 279th floor, I am going to seriously kick Kaiba's ass.

279...pffft.

Floor 113...gaaaahhh!! Hmm...I went up these stairs pretty fast...kinda weird...oh! For some strange but totally unknown reason, this reminded me of a story that I need to tell!

Well, it starts out with me...and a phone...and one extremely boring Saturday afternoon.

I was sitting there, minding my own business, when the phone rings. Ryou, oddly enough, left me alone in the house with all kinds of weapons and sharp objects—well, that's not the point right now. So the phone rings. And I answered it. And guess who it was?

No, no. Not him. Not him either.

It was a telemarketer!

A telemarketer! Calling me. He was asking for a Mr. Bakura, and I told him that it was good that he was calling me Mr. Bakura...but he should be calling me Master Bakura!

He will learn someday...someday!

So then he gets all weird like, and I hang up on him. As I was doing that, I noticed a little black book sitting next to the phone. So, being the curious little person that I am, I look inside.

The only thing I could find in it was a bunch of stupid, useless numbers.

But then I saw a bunch of stupid keys on the phone with a bunch of stupid numbers on them. So that's when I decided that I needed to use this device to contact other people...and make their lives miserable from a distance!

Hahahaha! First person on the list...Hawkins, Rebecca. Who the hell is Hawkins, Rebecca!? Whatever. I'll contact her...mwahahahaha!

5-5-5-4-5-6-7. Ah! Stupid thing is making noises! It's ringing! Stop it!

Aha! A voice! "Is this Hawkins, Rebecca?". A response. Yes! It is Hawkins, Rebecca! Well you know what I have to say to you Hawkins, Rebecca!? "I have kidnapped your..." Look at the book, see if there's any clues...what's this? "Lives with Grandfather" written in bright red ink? Ryou, sometimes you are really stupid. "...grandfather. And I want five bazillion yen for his ransom bye." Hehehehehehe! That felt great! Who's next???

Honda, Hiroto. Psh, I don't care to call anyone named after a car dealership. Who's after him? Jounouchi, Katsuya...

...oh, it's time for payback, Jounouchi, Katsuya.

"Hello? Is this Jounouchi, Katsuya? Really? Well, could you tell him that I have murdered his sister...oh. You are his sister. Well, tell him that I have kidnapped the pharaoh's hikar—Yuugi, and I want five bazillion yen for his ransom. Okay, yeah, bye."

Well, that didn't go very well. Who's next!?

Kaiba, Seto.

Oh you are dead Kaiba, Seto.

"Yes Kaiba, Seto? I have kidnapped your brother and I will kill him if you do not pay five bazillion yen to the address of 'Kame Game Shop'. No, this isn't Yuugi. Really, it's not! Alright then, if you think this is Yuugi. Oh, coming over now? Well fine. I don't care. Is that a threat? Fine! Bye!"

Oh...I hope Yuugi wasn't too mad at that! Hahahahahaha!

And that concludes my story boys and girls...I mean...Journal. And now, I am on floor 278! One more floor and Kaiba gets it! Mwahahahahaha!!!

There's his door! And there's a note on it.

"I have taken the rest of the day off. Kaiba"

...hell no! I did not just climb all these stairs just so I could turn around and go back down them!

So, I'll just break in casually with Ryou's school ID card...again...mwahahaha! I should really get my own card...

Oh look! His office is nice and clean! Maybe if I just...took these papers over here and threw them all over the office HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

A computer? More importantly...a laptop!? Isn't this a little...important? Hmm...and he left it on...stupid moron.

Oh, I like this button. Delete delete delete! Hmm..."Do you want to delete all memory?" it asks. I click "Yes". Bwahahaha! Kaiba is going to seriously hate me...thinking that I'm Ryou.

Hmm...and just to make sure that he hates me even more...I'll open this window and chuck the laptop...and the rest of the desk...out the window! Ahahahahaha!!!

Uh oh. I hear alarms...

RUN!

Can't write now! Running! Bye!

* * *

Liz: How was that!? 

Bakura: Psh.

Liz: Whatever. Review! Please? Hehe


	16. Entry 16

* * *

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

...w00t for updating

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Run far...far away.

Through the woods. Through the forest. On the run. Away from the people. Away from the problems. Away from _everything. _

I shall not associate with the likes of normal people. I shall not encounter anyone who has knowledge of my past.

Past is past...I must look forward.

...I will not move! You move you idiot!

...me? What about me? What!? That was uncalled for!!! No! _You _get out of the street! I have the right of way!

?? What!? Are you crazy!? Don't you dare drive over me! Aughh!!! Run!!!!

Alright, let me catch my breath...

...and run...

...what? What are you laughing at? It's not funny! I'm being dramatic! Shut up!

Alright fine. Enough drama.

...and I guess you want to know why I'm running away? Well, you should already know! I stole the Sennen Tauk, and I destroyed Kaiba's office. Now the police, and I think Kaiba got the United States F.B.I involved, are after me. I am a wanted spirit!

But that's where they will screw up! They cannot catch a spirit! Never! And even if I wasn't a spirit, they _still _couldn't catch me! Cause I am that good!

Mwahahaha! I will have to make a home in the forest! What do you mean? Why was I in the street before? Why do you want to know!? Stop being nosy and mind your own business dammit!

Ah! Here is a good place to make home. Right inside this cave! Mwahaha! It's perfect...

...AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Run run run run run RUN!

...catch breath.

Alright, so maybe the forest is a bad idea. I think I'll go back to Kaiba's house...

Wouldn't that be odd? The one person that he is searching to destroy is right inside his house...

Oh well.

Now, how am I going to get to the Kaiba Mansion from the forest? I could use this compass that Ryou bought me several months ago...

...speaking of which...I miss Ryou!!!! The torture and the pain and the sadness that I go through when I don't have him near me! And the endless nights I spend wishing that he was in my arms and the fact that I can do nothing about it!

Then I woke up into reality and stopped worrying about things I couldn't control. Like stealing the Tauk. I didn't _want _to steal it. It just..._happened. _

And destroying Kaiba's office...I didn't _want _to do it. The voice in my head was nagging me and telling me that I _had _to do it.

Well now, onto the task at hand...

TAXI!!!!!

Yeah...me...the almighty Bakura has resorted to taking a Taxi to the Kaiba Mansion. Aha! There's one! Hey! TAXI! Hey!! What!? No!!! Don't drive by me like that! COME BACK! What was that!? What did you just hold up!? Hey! That was vulgar! I have that finger too you know!

Fine! I'll walk! Stupid Taxi.

...more updating of the World Domination chart...

..but that is pointless seeing as I've been running from everyone the entire time.

Sennen Items currently being held by the one person who deserves them (and totally knows what to do with them and won't misuse them like a certain Pharaoh that everyone all knows and HATES) Bakura: 2

Sennen Items currently not being held by the one person who deserves them (and totally knows what to do with them and won't misuse them like a certain Pharaoh that everyone all knows and HATES) Bakura: 5

Psh. See, this is what I need to work on. But I cannot work on this while I'm being chased!

Give up you say? Never! Bakura the Almighty never gives up! It's not in him!

Yeah, talking in third person didn't seen as appealing as I thought it would...

Oh well. Time to continue my journey to the Kaiba Mansion...around this corner is a subway stop, maybe I can take the subway to his house. I mean, he's rich and all. Maybe there's a stop underneath his house haha.

Wait. I don't want to take the subway...not after what happened last time. So instead, I shall continue walking...

Oh! Is that a weapons store!? Don't mind if I do!

Erk...

There's a picture of me on the front door. Okay! Who knows me well enough to put this on the front of a weapons store!?

...Ryou.

Oh no. Is Ryou part of this? Has he turned against me!? Has the world gone insane!? Nothing makes sense anymore!!! –oh! Half off all weapons!

Waaa---? I'm surrounded! It was a trap! I was set up! I was framed! I—Ryou? Ryou, is that you? Ryou save me! Please!? Save me!!!!! What...hey! No! Don't walk away! Nooo!!!

Well...it's back to the cages for me...

* * *

Liz: Ehehe...I know it's short, but hey! It's something! Yay for updating! Hehe. I HEART REVIEWS


	17. Entry 17

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

400 reviews...so close....mwahahahaha!

Hey, the one who posses Insanity, hehe...I'M COMING FOR _YOU_

* * *

...escape!

That's right! They can't keep me in those cages if I escape! Now, I must think of the best plan...what to do, what to do.

Well, the fact that I have my hands tied behind my back isn't really helping. Why must they do this? It really isn't helping my escape efforts at all!

Though, with a little help from the all powerful _shadows_...I think that I might be able to break them.

The only problem with that: My powers have been slowly disappearing.

Reason: I haven't been with Ryou...erm..slept with him...er..._seen _him. Yeah, that's it.

Why? I don't know. I do not control the shadows! I just wield their power every once in a while. You know...every hour!

Hmm...I think I found a way to ensure my escape! All I need to do is slip out of these cuffs...aha! Now, grab my knife!

Yeah that's right, mister! I have a knife and I'm not afraid to use it! No! Don't come any closer! You'll force me to use it! Must you!? Fine!

...ow...

Maybe stabbing myself wasn't a very good idea...oooh...everything's turning fuzzy. Weee...

* * *

...huh? Where am I!?

Oh. The hospital. Aha! My plan worked! I am a genius! Huh? What's that noise? Someone's coming!

...it's Yuugi.

Why...of all people..._Yuugi?_

...it's scary and disturbing! What's that? He thinks I'm sleeping. Mwaha! I think I'll pretend and make him think so hehe.

...open one eye. What's he doing? He's pulling up a bench and sitting down next to my bed. Hmm...this is quite odd. Why would Yuugi want to sit anywhere near me, knowing that he's my next target in my mission to take over the world?

He's holding my hand...okay, now this is getting very, _very_, weird. Does this kid know that I could easily sit up and slash his throat with that fork on the table?

Slowly, he's leaning in towards my face. What the hell is he doing? He shouldn't be anywhere near me!

...he did not just say that.

That was not "I love you, Bakura" that I just heard from Yuugi. That was not his lips kissing me on the cheek. That was not his hand rubbing against places that they shouldn't be rubbing against.

* * *

...AUGH!!!

Where am I? What's going on!? Why is it dark!? What the hell happened!?

...a dream? It was all a dream! I'm awake! There is no Yuugi! There is no hospital.

...there is no hospital. Which means that I'm in the cages, doesn't it?

Stupid, stupid Bakura! This is why you never get caught! This is why you should definitely reconsider wearing a bright blue jacket while you're committing crimes.

...I'll have to consider my options. In the meantime!

Sennen Items currently in the possession of one of the most elite and sexy criminals on this side of the vertical equator that splits the earth in eastern and western hemispheres and who is extremely cool a.k.a ME: 2

Sennen Items not currently in the possession of one of the most elite and sexy criminals on this side of the vertical equator that splits the earth in eastern and western hemispheres and who is extremely cool a.k.a ME: 5

Wow. When I escape here, I know what I must do. I must return the items that I have stolen and stop harassing people so everyone will be happy!

Yeah, that IS what Ryou would say! Wow Journal, you're getting good at knowing me!

...inanimate object.

Ugh...shudder horribly. That dream was awful! Awful I say! Augh. I'm going to go slam my head against that brick wall over there. Maybe then I'll suffer from amnesia and forget that I ever had that dream.

Hey, it's worth a shot.

...ow. Maybe not.

Auughh...if I ever, _ever, _have another dream like that, I think I'll die from shock. And I'll probably die from the wrath of the Pharaoh.

And I definitely will not talk to a psychiatrist about this either. I don't want to hear about my subconscious.

Think about something else. Think about something that you _want _to think about. Think about...Ryou...

Ah, Ryou...

...Yuugi! No! My head! Augh! Stop it!

I think I need to call out to Ryou. I'm forgetting what he looks like, and what it's like to hold him in my arms again. I'm forgetting about all the time we spent together and how much fun we had. I'm forgetting...

...and now I sound like a freaking dramatic CLAMP manga...my stupid life! I hate you, Yuugi! I hate you and your pathetic little...augh..._everything! _

I will kill you, Yuugi Mutou...I will _kiiiiiiill _you.

...but I'll have to find a way out of this damn cage thing.

Hey! Isn't that the same guy who was showing me inappropriate gestures when I was hear last? Why am I sharing a cage with him...?

Uhhh...no, I don't believe that I'm an angel sent from heaven. You have it all wrong, mister.

What? You want to _what!? _No! Never! Well, not with you anyway. Handcuffs!? I barely know you!

In fact, I don't know you, and that is why I need to get out of here...no! Get away! Stop that! I'm warning you!

...I warned you...and you didn't listen. You paid for that with your life...Mwahahahahaha!

A guard? What? This isn't what it looks like! I swear! He committed suicide! Uhm...it was an act of self defense! What are you doing??? No! Let me go! Noooo!!!

* * *

Liz: Mwahahaha! That was fun. Review please? 


	18. Entry 18

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

Who knew this would be such a popular story? Hehe. 400 REVIEWS YAY!

**

* * *

**

Solitary confinement.

The one thing that I hate the most. I spent years in the Sennen Ring, all alone in the darkness. There was no warmth, no presence, no..._anything. _

And sometimes I wish that I had died all those years ago. Died without having to endure the pain of the shadows for thousands of years.

...ha! And _miss _the wonders of the present-future? Miss all the inventions called bombs and guns? Why, in this time, I could rule supreme! One of those crazy bombs...what are they? Nuclear? Yeah...would make me king!

"If you don't give me all of planet Earth, then I shall drop this bomb onto your country! MWAHAHAHA!" Says I.

"Oh no! You can't do that! It's not right—blah blah blah blah blah!" Says the leader of the free world.

"Oh, I believe that I can!" Says I again.

"Stop right there, Bakura!" Says the icky pharaoh.

"KIIIIIILL YOUUUU!" Says I, as I drop the bomb on the icky pharaoh. NO MORE PHARAOH!

Yay!

And that, journal, was the lovely moment of insanity that was not of a violent nature courtesy of me, Bakura.

Now, what am I going to do about this? I mean, I can't just sit here and talk to myself the whole time I'm here. I need to think of a way to escape. It's just not right to lock someone up _by themselves. _

Sure, lock them up! Do your worst to them! As long as their with someone else they can pretend that they are worse off! I do that all the time!

Of course...everyone is always worse off than me. I mean come one! I'll repeat this again...as I have basically said in every one of my entries! I. AM. AWESEOME.

Let's see...I think I may really hate prison. As much as I love to see other people be tortured, it's not fun to sit next to them and be tortured as well...

Which reminds me of this story that I don't think I have told yet!

Yes, the story of the day I tortured the pharaoh! What? I really _haven't _told this one yet?

Well, then you're in for a great surprise!

Okay, so the story starts out at the pharaoh's house...or, Yuugi's house...or, his game shop thing...or, his grandfathers...whatever! It was at that game shop thing and we were all invited over to eat lunch and watch a movie. Now, I wasn't _really _invited...I just kinda, tagged along with Ryou. No harm in that, right?

Right. So we went inside and instantly, I mean, I did _nothing! _Instantly they were all yelling at me! Why? I wouldn't know! They kept making this horrible accusation that I had killed Yuugi's cat. And I had no idea what they were talking about...oh no. Not at all.

Mwahahahaha.

Well then, onto the story. So they were all yelling at me to get out of the house and go get hit by a bus or something. I told them that it was very rude to tell someone to go get hit by a bus, but then they told me that it was rude to kill someone's cat.

Touché... touché

So I just ignored them and sat down next to Jounouchi. I tried to start a conversation with the blonde, but he glared at me and moved away. What? Did I know that he didn't want to discuss all the ways to rob a bank...

He obviously doesn't know the true meaning of life...

Anyway, we all were going to watch this movie...and I don't really remember what it was called, nor do I care to remember what it was called. I was going to use this time to make out with Ryou anyway...but I don't think he was up for it.

Okay, so I noticed that halfway through the movie, the pharaoh was getting a little...bothered...if you know what I mean. And it was all because of his hikari who was sitting on his lap.

Well, the pharaoh got so "bothered" that he decided that they needed to go upstairs to relieve some of their...ahem...problems...yeah.

So you know what I do? That's right! I follow them! I follow them up the stairs and into their bedroom.

And the funny thing was, they didn't even notice me once! I was standing there in the doorway...just standing there! Morons forgot to close the door, so I was watching them as they fell onto the bed, madly kissing and rubbing each other...tearing off clothes and moaning names and asking for favors.

That's when I pulled out the camera and took a picture.

And boy, was I _ever _noticed. Because at that moment the camera flashed, and I don't even think it was the flash that got their attention...more like the cursing at said camera that followed.

And when they looked up at me, burning lust and desire still evident in their eyes, I could feel the hatred directed straight at me for interrupting their bedroom rendezvous.

So I did what any normal human being-slash-spirit would do.

I ran.

Ran away, holding up the camera screaming "I got it! I finally got it!" and then was promptly stopped...

...by the horrible pain of the front door.

I had forgotten to open the front door.

Hey hey! Shut up! This isn't funny! It really hurt you know! I was in pain for days!

Well, anyway, I was confronted by Ryou...while I was laying on my back staring at the ceiling and muttering something about the gods being cruel to me. You hear that? CRUEL TO ME! YOU WILL PAY SOMEDAY!

So Ryou was wondering what I was doing, so I stood up, opened the door, and ran away again.

It wasn't until four days later that I saw him again. And the pharaoh too. In fact, they were all back at the Game Shop when I ran inside with hundreds of copies of the picture.

Yuugi's grandfather got a nice copy too...one of the ones I had digitally enhanced and everything. It was a really funny expression that he had on his face. Then he went and yelled at Yuugi and I thought that my mission in life was fulfilled.

Yes, someone yelling at Yuugi, is torture for the pharaoh...Mwhahahahahahaha!

So now...how to get out of this place? Yeah, I bet you forgot where I was, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kick wall. I hate this place.

What's this? Who's there? Ryou? RYOU? IS THAT YOU?

Oh damn. It's just some police man. What? Trial? Again? No!

* * *

Liz: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Bakura: NO! DAMN YOU WOMAN!

Liz: ...k...review!


	19. Entry 19

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

Alright! I'll update! Hehe :)

* * *

Evasive maneuvers!

That's right! I, Bakura the AWESOME, have escaped trial. Now, if only I could have been that smart in the first trial, maybe none of that would have happened!

...makes me wish that I had a time traveling device...save me some humiliation...but oh well! Things in the past must stay in the past...

...except for my REVENGE ON THE PHARAOH! MWAHAHAHAHA!

And now, time for my wonderful, exciting, plan to KILL THE PHARAOH! That's right! You heard it! I will KILL him and hide his pathetic body somewhere unknown! So unknown even _I _don't know where it is!

...yes! Okay! Yes! Mwahaha! MWAHAHA!

But before I tell you my plan, I _must_ tell you the rest of this other story. See, I was reading some previous entries about how I was contacting people. Yes, that's right. Prank phone call? If that's what you want to call it.

So, after I told Kaiba that I was going to kill his brother, then he thought I was Yuugi, he went stalking over to Yuugi's house.

How do I know this? Because! I am the awesome Bakura! I know ALL.

...okay, so maybe Yuugi told Ryou this and I over heard.

Anyway, apparently Kaiba went over to Yuugi's game shop thing and had a fit. Screaming and yelling at Yuugi, telling him to hand over his brother or "face the consequences".

Yeah, so this is the funny part. The pharaoh comes walking out and starts to scream at Kaiba for screaming at Yuugi, who starts screaming cause everyone's screaming.

Well, Kaiba got mad some more and took a step forward to tell the pharaoh off, when he tripped and fell right into him.

Great part was, he fell in a funny position causing his lips to brush against the pharaoh's...a.k.a A KISS.

I heard this and started to laugh so hard that Ryou had to smack me to shut me up. Yes, I know. Ryou...smack...it doesn't make sense...but it happened!

So Yuugi was like: "OhnoYami'scheatingonmewithKaibaandI'llnevergettobewithYamiagaincausehelovesKaibaandI'mgoingtokillmyselfnowbye!"

HA! And he ran away, and Kaiba was like "BYE!" and left. The pharaoh was like "Oh no! Aibou hates me!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just thinking about it makes me want to laugh harder! HAHAHAHA!

Okay, enough of that. Now for the plan to kill the pharaoh!

...is that an ice cream stand? Yes! I shall get ice cream and then I shall discuss the pharaoh!

...strawberry! Woo! I love strawberry! I mean...uhhh...blah! I, Bakura the Awesome AWESOME, do not like strawberry! It is too womanly! Like Ryou!

YAY STRAWBERRY

...I shall now need to keep my random outbursts to a minimum. Now...where was I? Ah yes! The pharaoh! And how I want to kill him. Yesssss...kill him slowly...and watch him suffer whilst I take his puzzle and assume my rightful position atop of the throne as PHARAOH!

BWAHAHAHAHA!

And then Yuugi, yes, Yuugi, the pharaoh shall watch as I torture Yuugi. Mwaha! Now, how to torture Yuugi...

...images...Yuugi, lying naked on a bed, making suggestive moves at me AUUGH IT BURNS MY BEAUTIFUL EYES! AUUUGHHH! WHYYY!

But...it DOES make the pharaoh suffer. I can see it now:

"Oh Bakura! I love you so much!" Yuugi will say.

"Uh huh yeah." I will say. Then I shall pull his body close to mine.

"NOO! AIBOU I HAVE LOST YOU!" Says the pharaoh as he breaks down crying.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" I shall laugh in his face! Then, I shall make him lie on the ground as I kick dirt in his worthless face! Then, I ditch Yuugi into a lake or something! HA! I am brilliant!

That, my journal, is a marvelous way to torture the pharaoh. Now, how to kill him...

AHH POLICE

They are after me! Help! Erm...hey! Do I have my Shadow powers back? Let's test it out on this tree...

...OW! HEY! THE TREE HURT ME! That's it! REVENGEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

...OW!

Okay, never again NEVER AGAIN! I shall leave the tree alone and let it do its tree-ness.

Alrighty, time to do an item check!

Number of items currently in the possession by the wonderfully handsome, extremely awesome, perfectly loveable, enormously attractive, genuinely sexy, overall fun guy to be with, Bakura the Awesome: 2

Number of items currently not in the possession by the wonderfully handsome, extremely awesome, perfectly loveable, enormously attractive, genuinely sexy, overall fun guy to be with, Bakura the Awesome: 5

...yessss...these numbers must be improved. But first! I need to get the police to stop chasing after me. How to do that...hmm...

I wouldn't have a clue...maybe I should go see Ryou. Yeah! I'll go see Ryou!

Wait...where am I? I see tall trees and open fields...but where did the city go?

OH NO I AM LOST!

...run around...panic...scream...panic...curse...AIIIEEEE!

* * *

Liz: Mwahahahahaa! Review! 


	20. Entry 20

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

Wow...I just realized that I created this story when I was fourteen...it's almost at its two year anniversary! 5/28 hehe.

* * *

...where am I?

Ah yes! I am in an open field...and in this open field is grass...me...some more grass...me again...a rock...and nothing...so I'm basically NO WHERE.

What am I going to do? I'm trapped. I can't go back to the city (even if I knew where that was...but I DON'T) because I'll get arrested...I can't go back to Ryou because I'll get arrested...and I can't go back to Kaiba's mansion because I'll get arrested...

See all the downfalls of my life! But there is one thing that I have that no one else can come close to having...

...ME! HAHAHAHA! I'm so modest it scares even me...

Okay! Onto finding my way out of this stupid place I like to call "no where". I don't care if the cops try and get me now! AHAHAHAHAHA! They can arrest me all they like, but they shall not damage the spirit of the ring! AHAHAHA!

Now, how shall I go about finding the exit to this empty field of nothingness? I could just walk in a straight line until I find some place that looks remotely populated...I also could set fire to something and hope that someone rescues me...

...but then they might have watched "World's Most Wanted Criminals", and I could be headed straight for the cages again...

I could also carve a message into the ground! Yeah! You know, so that when planes are flying overhead, they could read it and then come and rescue me...and put me in the cages yeah! This sounds like so much fun...NOT.

...what's that noise?

...could it be?

GASP. IT IS.

It's all of Ryou's friends AND RYOU! And they are all coming towards me! What am I going to do? Ahhhh! Uhh...HIDE! Behind...rock! Yeah!

...what are they all doing out here anyway? Camping? Why would they be camping?

Oh...they're looking for me. But they shall not find me! For I am me and I am easily hidden! Mwahahahaha!

So...Jounouchi's wondering why we all care so much for me...even though I apparently care so little for them. Well, it's true. I don't care for them at all (save Ryou) and I would rather them all be dead (save Ryou), and I wish they would have never become part of my life (save Ryou).

It's obvious how I care so much for Ryou's friends! Yay! Psh...

Now, why in the world is Kaiba here? I could have sworn that he hated all of Ryou's friends (as much as I do, even) and to even see him with them is extremely surprising! Hmm...now, what should I do to get on his nerves without him knowing it was me? Hmm...

KISSING!

THEY ARE KISSING!

I totally forgot that Jounouchi was dating Kaiba. Grr...this just makes me angry! Even the stupid dog can be with the one he loves! Let me kick this rock. Yes...die rock...

Okay, so this just turned from a bad camping experience into a worse make out session.

And I wish I was doing that with Ryou! Maybe he'll forgive me and take me back and all shall be fine in the work of the awesome Bakura!

Then again, he could just reject me and then fall in love with Yuugi and then we'll never be together! Oh, the tragedy! The sorrow! The...who cares anymore! It's time to see just exactly how "outdoorsy" I can be! I will make a meal out of this rock, and this tree branch! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!

...is that steak I smell? Mmmm...steak...no...wait! What are they doing? They're COOKING it! Noooo! That's the worst thing you could do to a steak!

I shall run out into the open air and yell at them! Hey! You! Kaiba! Yeah, you stop cooking that steak...what? What are you looking at? What? Yes it's me! Or is there another Bakura behind me?

Ryou?

Where are you going? Hey! Come back here! Ahhh! Don't tackle me! I have to get to Ryou! No! Get off me! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

...and here I thought we could have a touching reunion! But instead I've been attacked and Jounouchi-ugly is sitting on top of me! Hey! You can't tie me up! Only Ryou can do that and only in the privacy of his bedroom!

...don't give me weird looks! You all do it! I know you do! Yeah, whatever. Lousy people you all are. Except Ryou. Ryou, come back! Come save me from the demons you call friends! Ow! That's hurt! Don't slap me around! HARASSMENT! I call harassment! SAVE ME!

Don't leave me to die out here! Hey! Untie me! Where are you going? Come back! Hey! Hey! Stop it!

...alone again. Only this time, tied up and alone. So, while I sit here and let the sun infect me with it's UV rays, I'll tell you about me again.

I am so freaking awesome. Sometimes, I wonder what it's like to not be me...then I panic because to be someone else is murder...and the only murder that's taking place here is the murder of JOUNOUCHI-DUMBASS!

Okay then.

Number of Sennen Items that currently belong to the one and only Bakura the Almighty, a.k.a the Lord of Torture, the Master of Evil, the God of All-That-Is-Sexy, and the most wonderful person to be EVER: 2

Number of Sennen Items that currently do not belong to the one and only Bakura the Almighty, a.k.a the Lord of Torture, the Master of Evil, the God of All-That-Is-Sexy, and the most wonderful person to be EVER: 5

Wow...soon it shall be. Soon I shall own all the items! And then, I will make Jounouchi-baka my pet dog and Yuugi my love slave! I mean RYOU! Ryou's my love slave! Yuugi's my pleasure slave mwahahahahahahaha!

I can really see it now...

"Give me the puzzle of I shall have wonderful hot sex with Yuugi." Says I.

"No! Don't do that to my aibou! I'll do anything! Here, here's the puzzle!" Cries the PHARAOH as he gives me the puzzle.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I shall laugh and then kick my pet dog Jounouchi-loser. "Ow!" He will say! And I will kick him again!

"Please, give back my aibou." Weeps Pharaoh.

"Hmm," I shall lead him on. "No." Then I will have hot sex with Yuugi in front of him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And then the Pharaoh shall kill himself. And all shall be happy in the Land of Bakura! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Then Kaiba will try to save his dog...but since he forgot to properly ID his dog, he now belongs to me! And I will make him do stuff for me! Like...my dishes! And, yeah! Woo!

"You do those dishes..." I sneer. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Then I kick him again because he deserves it!

...who's that? Someone's blocking the harmful UV rays! Hey! Don't tell me I can't laugh! What to you mean I'm "under arrest"? Screw you! Hey! OUT ME DOWN!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

Oh boy...what have I just written...I'm going to post this and see what happens...(psssttt! Review box!) 


	21. Entry 21

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

Yes, I am writing this yeah! Right after I wrote a random Pokemon story just cause I got bored! Yay! And guess what? I just got back from Europe on 7/06, so that's why this chapter hasn't been written yet! It was started waaaaaay before I left Arizona hahahahaha. Okay whatever. Enjoy!

* * *

_You have the right to remain silent._

Yeah yeah.

_Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law._

I know. I've heard it before.

_You have the right to have an attorney present now and during any future questioning._

Okay, like I need one.

_If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you free of charge if you wish._

I can afford one with that money I stole! AHAHAHA!

OW! Don't hit me! Just because I choose to waive the right to be silent, doesn't mean that you have the right to abuse me! LAWSUIT! I say LAWSUIT!

I don't care if I'm one of the most, if not _the _most, wanted criminal in the world! So what? You shouldn't be able to abuse someone like that! It's just not right!

...what? I don't care about all the people's rights I've interfered with! Yes, I know, killing those people _did _kind of abuse them just "like that". But you know that I'm better than they are! I am superior to all! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Why you ask? Well, it all started a long time ago when I decided to--SHUT THE HELL UP AND MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS YOU IDIOT!

OW! Stop that! NOT THE STICK! AHHHHH!

...stupid moron. How would you like it if I beat you with a stick? Huh? HUH? That's what I thought. Would you also like it if I decided to send your pathetic ass to the Shadow Realm? Really now? You don't know what that is? Would you like me to show you?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HE'S GONE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I mean...ahem...he deserved that.

...wait...how did my powers work? Oh. Yeah. I saw Ryou for a little bit. Maybe my powers came back somewhat after being near him. Hmm...what an interesting theory!

You know what this means, don't you?

I'M FREE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, so now it's time to find Ryou and make amends with him. Oh please forgive me Ryou! I love you!

Erm...to sappy. How about: FORGIVE ME OR I KILL YOU, RYOU!

Too harsh. He'll never forgive me then. Hmm...it's such a complicated matter! Oh what shall I do?

I know! I'll go talk to my best friend in the whole wide world! He'll know what to do! He can help me out and make everything better! I know he will!

...now I just have to get to his house! Which way was it from the prison again? Ah yes! Left! Let's go left!

And pass a television store! Woo! The news is playing. What's it saying?

"Serial killer and thief Bakura has been arrested today. His trial is set for another month from now. He is being held without bail. He is the deadliest killer in the entire world. Let's show you a picture."

Hey! That's me! What? What are you looking at? You! Next to me! What? No! Why are you screaming? Don't run! Great. Now they're going to tell everyone that I escaped! I must quickly get to my friends house before the police show up!

"This just in! Bakura has escaped from prison!"

Wow, gossip travels fast in this town. No matter! My friend will house me and make sure that no one catches me! Alright! Woo! Party!

Alright, let's walk...no...let's _run _to my friends house. Come on, Journal! You can keep up with me! We're pals! Buddies! Homies! We've done everything together! You know my deepest and darkest secrets! All my fantasies about Yuugi...THAT ARE FALSE! ALL OF THEM! Stop looking at me like that! HEY! STOP IT!

Aha! Here we are! My friend's house! Instead of knocking, let's just barge in!

HEY! BUDDY! Are you here? Aha! There you are! Wow, you can walk now! I'm very proud of you! OW! Why did you throw that lamp at me? What did I do to you? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!

Oh. Sorry _Malik_. I didn't know I wasn't allowed to visit my friend! FINE! I'LL LEAVE!

Idiot.

OW! THAT HURT! STOP THROWING CRAP AT ME!

Moron.

Yeah that's right! I CALLED YOU A MORON!

Freak.

Alright, I'm out of his house. And here I thought Malik would be happy to see me! I guess he's still holding a grudge against me for something I did. What was it again? I wouldn't know!

Time for the Sennen Item count!

Number of Sennen Items that currently belong to the most handsome, sexy, attractive, beautiful-in-a-guy way, hot, gorgeous, extremely smart, wonderful in bed, will-make-you-scream-if-he-touches-you-just-right, sex god Bakura, a.k.a ME: 2

Number of Sennen Items that currently do not belong to the most handsome, sexy, attractive, beautiful-in-a-guy way, hot, gorgeous, extremely smart, wonderful in bed, will-make-you-scream-if-he-touches-you-just-right, sex god Bakura, a.k.a ME: 5

That's it. It's time to go after the Puzzle. Why, you may ask? Because the Pharaoh has had it too good for too long! And I'll kidnap Yuugi while I'm at it! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

To the Pharaoh's house! Wait. Is it dark yet? Okay, now it is. You can't go kidnapping and stealing without it being dark! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Alright, I'm here. Now, I'll just climb up this tree that leads to the Pharaoh's room and open the window and TAKE YUUGI! AHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, and the puzzle too.

Aha! They are asleep! And the puzzle is just lying there on the nightstand! Mwahahahahaha! Erk! Yuugi's getting out of bed! Oh, he can't see me. He's going to get a glass of water. Okay then, I'm going to stalk along the shadows and FOLLOW HIM! MWAHAHAHA!

He's going downstairs and into the kitchen. Hmmm...this would be a great opportunity to...AHA! I GOT YOU! Stop squirming! Don't bother screaming, I've got my hand over your mouth! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh dear! He passed out! Mwahaha better for me! Now he won't struggle!

Let's drag him over to the door. MWAHAHA! WE'RE OUT! I'VE DONE IT! Time to go to my secret lair!

* * *

Aha! Here we are at my secret lair. Where is it, you might ask? Well, if I told you, IT WOULDN'T BE A _SECRET_ LAIR ANYMORE!

Yuugi's waking up and noticing that I've tied him to a bed. Oh dear! He's screaming for Yami. Too bad, Yuugi. Yami can't save you now! HA! Because I have the puz—IO$#($&#$&# I DIDN'T GRAB THE PUZZLE!

Oh well. Once I have my way with Yuugi, the Pharaoh (and Yuugi) will be so upset that their relationship will be OVER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Time to have some fun! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

Alright, so that's the end of that chapter! Where is this leading too? I don't know! Ha. REVIEW! Please? Hehehe 


	22. Entry 22

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

Mwahahahaha! What's going on now? Will Bakura have his way with Yuugi? Will Yami save his love? Will Ryou ever forgive Bakura for all that he has done to everyone? Who knows!

By the way, I have started school (a long time ago). (sob) It's my senior year of high school! I'm almost a high school graduate! Meh, on with the story! AHAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

Stop screaming!

Ow!

Stop kicking!

...there. Now your legs are tied to the bed.

What? You accuse me of harassment? I'm amused! I'm so amused that I have my hand over my mouth in fake shock! AH! Harassment. Psh. Right.

What do you think that I'm going to do, Yuugi? Hmm? What do you think?

No! You are wrong! I am not going to let you go! Good attempt though. I give you credit for attempting to mess with my mind. However, since you are messing with _my _mind, it's impossible to get me to do what you want me to do. I am too awesome to fall for your mind games! Ha!

Shut your mouth! I SAID STOP TALKING. Geez, you think this kid could listen at all. AHH! STOP SCREAMING! I'm going to need some ear plugs.

Now, what I was I going to do to Yuugi again? Ah yes! Have my way with him! And my way shall be...

...burning several pictures of the pharaoh in front of him while I laugh! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sex? You thought I was going to have sex with him? You are insane! Sure, I've had some pretty weird fantasies about having sex with him, but I would never act on them! The only person I ever sleep with is Ryou! My one true love! Though it's kind of interesting as to how I can actually love anything when all I do is cause harm to other people and hurt them! Ahahahahahaha! It's every odd.

Whatever. Time to bring the pictures of the pharaoh out. What's that Yuugi? You want the pharaoh? Come save you? Ha! He'll never be able to find you! That's right! We are in my secret lair! No one has ever been able to find my secret lair!

Well, maybe Malik would be able to find my secret lair. Only cause he has been here before. But he's my friend and he would never tell anyone where it is! I trust my dear friend!

So, now it's time to burn the pictures. Look Yuugi! I'm burning these pictures of the pharaoh that I found in a dueling magazine a few months ago when you guys were actually popular and dueling was _in._ Psh, that fad ended so long ago. The only people who are still into it are Yuugi, the pharaoh, and the psychopath. Oh, his name? Kaiba.

Yes! Kaiba is crazy! He spends all his time dueling to win things that he wants. Like titles. Why doesn't he go out and earn the titles like I to! By KILLING! It works! Had he killed the pharaoh and Yuugi, he would automatically be granted the title of number one duelist. I think I tried to tell him that once, but of course, he gave me a funny look and asked why I was talking to him. I think he added in "Who are you and what do you want with me and what are you doing in my company and how did you get past my security guards and all my cameras" somewhere in there.

Meh. Whatever. I don't need them! I need to go and buy something for Ryou so that he forgives me and we can have the best make up sex of all time! I mean, so that I can hold him in my arms and never let him go! Yeah, that's it. Hold him...yeah.

Hahahaha! Yuugi! You will never get away! That is, until you DIE. And that's going to be pretty soon after you lose your sanity from all the pictures that I am going to burn of the pharaoh! AHAHAHAHA!

Seriously. I think I need to get a better laugh. This laugh is sounding a bit...weak. Hmm...Nyahahahaha...well, that sounds better. Sounds a bit more sinister. But I still enjoy my MWAHAHAHAHAHA on occasion. It's the genuine evil laugh. No villain should go without one.

And to purchase one you may visit my alley next to Yuugi's Game Shop. I've been doing business there for many years. I've been selling and teaching people how to laugh evilly and it's been awesome! So far, I killed about 907854 people who fell for my trap! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Well well well...if it isn't Yuugi...well, we knew it was Yuugi, but he's all passed out from all the torture I've put him through. Ha! He deserves it for having a good life that is not as good as mine and that he wishes was as good as mine but of course it will never be as good as mine because I am the almighty Bakura and no one is as good as I am. HA!

Blah, I am now officially bored with torturing Yuugi. I think I'll go have some fun outside.

AHHH! THE SUNLIGHT! Hahaha fooled you. I'm no vampire...but that would be freaking awesome if I was.

I would be the awesome Bakura-Vampire! I would stalk in the shadows and GRAB YOU WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING! AHHH! And then I would SUCK your BLOOD and you would become a vampire like me. Though, I would debate killing you first because I wouldn't want any vampire-competition...

I would have a hella tight (why did I use that phrase? Now that I think of it, it's kinda stupid) cape that would flow in the wind, and be Kaiba-trench coat-gravity-defying in the calm weather. Oh well. And then I shall have vampire teeth and I would look SO COOL.

Alright, so enough of the vampire stuff. I need to go steal something. Like maybe some food. Stupid thing called hunger. When I rule the world, there will be no such thing as hunger!

**Bakura! That's so nice! You want to get rid of world hunger? - **Bakura's mocking words.

HELL NO. Just for me. The rest of the world can die like the fuc—OW I TRIPPED. Damn sidewalk. That's another thing that will go when I RULE THE WORLD.

And Ryou will be by my side. Sigh. You know, I somewhat miss the guy...but if anyone were to hear that, the first thing that someone would say to me would be: whipped. Which is something I MOST DEFINETELY am NOT.

I think I hear Yuugi screaming again. Maybe I should go tighten the ropes AHAHAHAHAHA!

Okay. Well then:

Number of Sennen Items that currently belong the most awesome and sexy man alive, who is totally bad ass and everyone wishes to be him, awesome guy/vampire Bakura-Vampire: 2

Number of Sennen Items that currently do not belong the most awesome and sexy man alive, who is totally bad ass and everyone wishes to be him, awesome guy/vampire Bakura-Vampire: 5

...I almost had the puzzle too. CURSES. I shall go plan the pharaoh (and Yuugi's) DEMISE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oooh! Weapons store...

* * *

So, how was that? Bad? I know. I've been at school le SUCK and it's lots of work haha. Oh well REVIEW...please? 


	23. Entry 23

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

Hmmhmmmhmm...so here's chapter 23...w00t, and has anyone read my new story about YIBCL that I will probably wait FOREVER to update? Hahaha!

K, here's the story.

* * *

_There was a dark read swirl of color in the sky, and volcanoes spewing lava from the ground. Giant birds flew through the air spying on all the chained people below. In the distance a large castle is seen perched on top of a mountain, and all the people of the city are slowly migrating towards it._

_They stop at the base of the castle and look up to the balcony that is above their heads. They weep, they cry, the fall to their knees and scream at the brown dust at their feet. Their fate has been sealed, locked away forever, never to be changed. They know what's coming next, they can feel it..._

"Hey you! GET OUT OF MY STORE!"

Eh?

What?

NO! YOU GET OUT OF _MY _STORE!

...ow.

This is ridiculous! How dare he kick me out! I am the almighty Bakura! He can't just interrupt my fantasy and get away with it!

I'll send him anthrax through the mail.

Don't laugh at that! It's not funny! Have _you _gotten anthrax through the mail? I did once! It was not fun! I opened the letter and all this white powder stuff came out and ruined my really cool black coat thing!

Was I supposed to get sick? What? Well, I didn't. What do you mean that wasn't anthrax?

I saw it all over the news! People were getting white powder stuff in their letters and yelling about how it was anthrax!

Baking soda?

That was so a long time ago?

I'm so confused. Why would people send baking soda through the mail? If they wanted to scare someone that bad, then they could have just sent them the anthrax and killed them while they were at it.

You know, killing two birds with one stone? But in this case it was only one person and using powder and not a stone.

Whatever.

On to new things! Like, stuff.

Well, you see, this is quite difficult. I don't know what I'm going to do with this machine gun that I stole from the store! I mean, I have so many options! Hmm...

...back to the museum!

Ah yes, I remember the museum! I stole the Tauk from there! Which I still have! HA! You were not able to take it back, you worthless woman! There's nothing you can do now! Your item is GONE!

And here's where I give her a chance to get it back!

There! The museum! Alright! I can see it now...

"_AHA!" I yell as I run into the museum._

"_OH MY GOSH!" Isis yells as she puts her hands on her face. "Guards! Get him!"_

_Then, I pull out my gun-of-awesomeness! "DIE!" And I kill them._

_People run around screaming. Isis falls to the floor, crying about something. "AHAHAHAHA!" I laugh as I point the gun at her face. _

"_Oh no! Bakura! You can't!" She begs. "Don't kill me! I'm too important to the museum!" _

"_Hmm..." I pretend to think. "Nah." Then I kill her._

"_AHHH!" is her last word._

"_MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I laugh maniacally and hold the gun over my head. "I REIGN SUPREME!"_

Meh, that last thing sounded stupid.

"_MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I laugh maniacally and hold the gun over my head. "I AM THE MOST POWERFUL MAN ALIVE!"_

Eh, whatever. Close enough haha.

Nyahahaha. Time to run into the museum!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET OFF ME! HELP! AHHH! NO! NOT THE GUN!

Oh no, people are screaming. How upsetting. GIVE ME MY GUN!

I can't have it? WHAT? WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?

Whatever! I'll just take it and...

...ugh!

OW!

YOU SHOT ME!

OW!

So this is what my victims feel like...wow...ugh...this kinda hurts...

...I mean...what pain? It's nothing! Just a minor wound, that's all! Nothing that a little peroxide wouldn't fix!

Oooohh...weeeee...I'm dizzy...look! My own blood! Hello blood!

Weeee...

* * *

Huh?

Where am I?

Everything's white...it's all bright...oh my...

I'm in...

A hospital! ALRIGHT!

Yeah! I LOVE HOSPITALS! WOO! Listen to all those screams of all the people who are getting cut up! Excellent...

I have to go see them...

...ow!

What the hell is going on? Why does it feel like there's a fire burning in my chest? Why do I have a blood soaked bandage on my chest? What's going on?

Oh...yeah...I was shot.

Hey look! Cards!

From nameless: Welcome to the Hospital! We hope you enjoy your stay here until you are transferred to the nearest jail! It was nice taking care of you, you horrible felon!

Oooookay...

Little crazy...

Oh! Another one!

From Ryou: Bakura, Bakura, Bakura...I don't even know what to say. You have been getting into a lot of trouble ever since you stole the Tauk. Why don't you just give it back? It will solve everything! Well, it probably won't solve the killings, and the vandalism, and the stealing...and the other things. Bakura, I love you, but you need to stop being so mean to other people!

Aww. Ryou loves me. Still. Even though I'm a heartless bastard. I love you too Ryou...in a dominant kind of way...

From Yami: YOU BASTARD! YOU WILL DIE! WHERE IS MY YUUGI! I WILL KILL YOU! I HOPE YOU DIE IN THAT HOSPITAL! DAMN I WISH IT WAS ME WHO SHOT YOU! IF I EVER SEE YOU, YOU WILL PAY FOR KIDNAPPING YUUGI!

Haha. He'll never find Yuugi. I hid him well! I almost feel bad for causing him all this heartache...

Almost...

Okay...not at all.

From Malik: DIE

Touché, Malik. You have won the battle but not the war!

...such a good friend! I couldn't ask for a better one!

That's it for the cards? Oh! Wait, there's one more!

From Isis: I am pressing charges.

Aw, why do you have to be like that, Isis?

Speaking of Isis...

Number of Sennen Items currently belonging to the sexiest man/spirit alive, the one with the freaking awesome gunshot wound to prove his manliness and his AWESOMENESS, Bakura: 0

Number of Sennen Items currently not belonging to the sexiest man/spirit alive, the one with the freaking awesome gunshot wound to prove his manliness and his AWESOMENESS, Bakura: 7

OH NO!

WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE DID THEY GO!

Oh no, I can't breathe! I can't see! The room is spiraling! AHHHH! HELP ME!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

So yeah...that be it hahaha. Review! 


	24. Entry 24

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

Oh dear…

* * *

…the world is ending.

They took all my items.

They don't even remember where they put them.

Something about how since I'm a fugitive, I shouldn't be able to have anything.

They even took my ring. The one thing that connects me to Ryou. The one thing that keeps my ties to evil…

…augh. I'm starting to sound like a wimp!

Someone help me! I don't want to end up like Yuugi! He's way to…well…blah for me! You cannot even comprehend what this is doing to me! My items! My world domination!

Well, no matter. Since I _am _me, I can easily get them back. For I am the greatest person who has ever lived!

…speaking of Yuugi, I wonder if he's still alive. Mwahahahahaha! You know, not many people have survived my extended torturing plan. It's only $9.99…plus some really high cost for shipping and handling, because that's where we like to stick it to you. Haha.

Anyways, why would they take my items? Was it because of all that medical attention? Because I've had plenty of medical attention, physical and mental, and they never took my item.

…they never even knew that it was the cause of all my insanity! MWAHAHA! Well, I enjoy being crazy. You know, it could easily be used in some sort of case. I've been watching crime dramas recently, and they usually use the "insanity" plea, and the guy gets out of going to jail!

Oh man. Jail. I never want to go back there again. In fact, this hospital room is reminding me of jail. I'm just going to leave.

Oh, there's a nurse. What do you mean I can't leave? No, I'm fine. No. Fine, you know what? I just want some fresh air, is that so hard to give to me? Are you denying my right to breath air that is not contaminated with mixtures of medication?

I could go to court and sue your ass…

Why thank you! I know I'm right. I'll just be going now.

…run away!

Okay, so now I have to go find the items. I can't leave without them!

What the—

Pharaoh? What are you doing here? Ehehe…yeah, about Yuugi. Well, you see, he decided to leave you because he's in love with someone else. He told me to give you this note.

…

…my handwriting? My goodness, no! I would never forge any kind of document…

…you are taking that out of context. I was forced to forge that document. What? Why the sour face? Cheer up!

Oh wait, Yuugi left you! You can't! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

…ow! Why would you punch an injured man! I just came out of surgery and…

…that's it!

See you later, Pharaoh! I have something to take care of. None of your business, you dumbass. Have fun with the though of Yuugi sharing his love with another!

Hehehehe, I am so evil!

Alright, so they must have put the items somewhere near where I had my surgery. Maybe they put the stuff in a locker of some sort, you know. So I can go and get it later!

Oh…dear…

Is that who I think it is?

Hehe, what? What happened? Why are you looking at me like that? I swear, it was an accident! I didn't _mean _to come into…

…charges? Why? I was the one who was shot?

Fine with me. We'll go to court! I've got my defense all planned out, too. You'll see. You won't get away with it!

Never!

AHAHAHAHAHA!

…now to go find a lawyer who will actually listen to me.

* * *

"The charges are Theft,"

Ah yes, I remember now. Shouldn't there be multiple counts?

"Breaking and Entering,"

When did they find out I was in there?

"Vandalism,"

I didn't think Kaiba knew I was in that office! How did he find out?

"Threatening,"

Oh come on! Everyone threatens everyone else! You can't charge me with that!

"Attempted Murder,"

Since when? He died!

"Murder,"

There you go.

"Carrying a concealed weapon,"

It wasn't concealed! I had it out in broad daylight!

"Harassment,"

Oh, I didn't know they could charge you for that. I want to charge the Pharaoh with Harassment!

"Evading police,"

Who wouldn't?

"and Kidnapping"

Ah, so the Pharaoh finally charged me with that.

Blah blah.

"How do you plead, Mr. Bakura?"

Not guilty by reason of insanity!

"Oh this again…"

You've heard it before? Hmm…maybe I should rethink my strategy. Nah…it works on Law and Order.

…it doesn't?

I want to change my case! Nooo!

Whatever. I'll make it work.

Hey Mr. Lawyer! You better get me out of this…or else I'll…

…erm…I'll cry! And I'll be in jail! I'm frowning, can't you see! Frowning! Fall for my cute face!

Ignore the fangs!

Whatever. It'll all work out in the end, because I am important and I matter! And if it doesn't, then I kill my lawyer!

Bwahaha.

Hey there fancy lawyer guy! Do you have news about how I'm going to win this case and "stick it to the man"? Nyahaha.

Remand? What the hell is remand? What do you mean I can't get out on bail? That's not fair! I want my right to bail!

…there is no right to bail? What the hell? I'M CHARGING THAT JUDGE WITH HARASSMENT!

Don't drag me away! Noooo!

* * *

I updated, are you amazed? Well, I am. After today, I only have 5 more days of high school left…FOREVER. Graduation on the 25th!

Please Review if you feel like it.


	25. Entry 25

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

Oh would you look at that. I haven't updated this thing in a while. Haha.

So, as for some update on my life for you guys: I'm finally in college. Arizona State University, to be exact. And I know the rumors haha, but since I've lived in Arizona my whole life, ASU just looks like a great choice!

Anyways, now that I have some free time before my POS 110 class, I shall write Bakura's Journal.

Onto chapter 25!

* * *

I am definitely not enjoying myself at this moment.

In fact, who _would _enjoy themselves while they are in jail? It's obnoxious, it's boring. It's a whole lot of other things that I would talk about if I could think of them, but as of the moment I am currently being stared at by some creepy looking man.

…I bet he's the only one who enjoys jail.

Harassment! Harassment! I want him put into solitary confinement!

I don't think this day could get any worse. I mean, I was having so much fun at arraignment! But then they had to throw me in here. And I vowed never to come back here! How did they catch me?

Oh yeah. I was shot. How could they throw an injured man into jail? Do they have no morals? No intelligence? No humanity?

I curse the ground that they walk upon!

Well, now that I have some free time, I can do some self-exploration in order to better understand who I am. It's time for Bakura-time!

Today's lesson: Bakura is Number One!

Hello boys and girls. Today we are going to learn about how awesome Bakura is! Yes, that's right, children, I am Bakura. Yes, I am awesome. Because I am. Because. Because. Becau—SHUT THE HELL UP.

As I was saying, Bakura is the most awesome person in the universe! In fact, he is so awesome, he should be ruling the universe. He's very sexy, too. Everyone wants to date with him. They also want to be him.

NO YOU CAN'T TAKE A NAP. Class, there's one person who is at the bottom of the "list of coolness", and that would be the Pharaoh. Who is the Pharaoh, you ask? Well, he looks like he has a starfish on his head, and he has some kind of deranged ego about him. He thinks he's god or something.

But we all know that I am indeed much cooler than he. I am more powerful than Ra himself! Bask in my glory! Come on! Bask!

That's right, children! You should be scared of the Pharaoh. He's very scary. In fact, he will come into your room and eat you! And then he'll eat your parents! Playing Duel Monsters has corrupted his mind, and now he must eat people in order to stay sane!

Now, the only way you can save yourself from the Pharaoh is if you pledge your undying loyalty to me, Bakura. You must join my fan club as well, and you must send me undetermined, yet amountingly huge, sums of money.

Amountingly is so a word! GO SIT IN THE CORNER. You dare defy the teacher? What have your parents been teaching you?

…wow. For a second there I actually thought that I was teaching a kindergarten class. I think something's wrong with me. Maybe I'll actually win that insanity plea!

Oh! Here come the guards! Is it time for the trial?

Wow, when they told me I had a right to a speedy trial, I didn't think it would go this fast!

* * *

"Mr. Bakura,"

Yes?

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you god?"

I don't know about that god part at the end, but I _suppose _I could tell the truth.

"Is it true that you brought a gun into the Domino museum?"

Yes.

…he looks baffled.

"And is it true that you _allegedly _vandalized Seto Kaiba's office?"

Yes, I did that too.

Now he looks shocked.

"Have you even been on the Kaiba Mansion property?"

Actually…

"Yes?"

I have. Several times. In fact, I was there the time that you found that dead body there. I needed a better place to hide a body, and I thought that framing a rich guy would be the best option.

"Mr. Bakura?"

Why is the judge talking to me.

"You do realize that this is your defense lawyer talking to you."

…oops. Was I supposed to deny this?

I take it all back! See! See! I am crazy! AhahahHAhAhhAhHA!

Great, they're telling me to sit down now.

I think I totally just messed up my case. Way to go, Bakura. If I wasn't so awesome, I'd hate myself now.

But no need to get worried, because I am so great! I can get out of anything. Like that time that I got caught for trying to steal the God Cards from Yugi's Grandpa.

"What are you doing young man?" The old man said to me.

"Nothing, oh, nothing at all!" I said, obviously holding the God Cards.

"Why do you have the God Cards?" He said.

"Oh, these?" I held them up. "Why, I was just walking down the street when I saw some guy carrying them and laughing maniacally. He had blonde hair, and I think his accomplice called him 'Jounouchi'. I knew that they didn't belong to him, so I took them back!"

He almost looked convinced. "Nice try kid! Jounouchi is upstairs with my grandson!"

"Damn," I said. Then I threw the cards in his face and ran away.

Thought now that I think about it, I should have just ran away _with_ the cards. I could have claimed to be Ryou.

Speaking of Ryou. He's sitting behind me in the courtroom. I'm not so sure he really wants me to get off without getting in trouble.

"Mr. Bakura, you do realize you're facing the death penalty?"

The what?

You mean I could _die_ for these crimes?

Why didn't anyone tell me this? Damnit! Now I have to actually work on my case!

"The People call Yami Mutou to the stand."

Oh fu—erm. Oh no!

"Mr. Mutou, please tell us in your own words how Mr. Bakura kidnapped your…erm…other self? Other self? What in the world?"

Ha! What a stupid lawyer. He is too ignorant to know of the other selves. Stupid. He obviously needs to go back to school.

"Well," the Pharaoh began. "We were sleeping in our room at the Game Shop when someone broke into it! When I woke up, Yugi was gone! Aibou! I'm so sorry! YOU BASTARD! I WILL KILL YOU!"

Ack! He's lunging at me! Ah, good, the guards stopped him before he could touch me.

"Yugi! Aibou! I miss you so!" Yami began crying. "I have failed you!"

Did he just pull out a knife? My knife! Oh! He's going to kill himself! I have front row seats! Woohoo!

Aw, they took the knife away. Stupid guards. This whole trial would have been over had they just let the Pharaoh kill himself! Then there wouldn't be anyone to accuse me of anything!

They're dragging him away. Good riddance, Pharaoh!

"The people call Seto Kaiba to the stand."

How did they manage to get Kaiba to come out here and waste his time? Haha. He must have been forced somehow. Ha.

"Seto Kaiba, please tell the court about Mr. Bakura."

"He broke into my office and decided to 'remodel' it to his standards. He also broke into my mansion, scaring my brother and hiding dead bodies, which he confessed to earlier."

Ha. No one will believe him! He has an agenda because he's rich. This is all political!

"I have the tape to prove it."

What? What tape? You mean he has security cameras? I swear I took care of those!

Oh man! They're showing the tape! It's not me! Not at all! I'm being framed! You guys sitting in the corner! Don't believe him!

Okay, they shut the tape off. I looked pretty good, and that body looked pretty dead. I'm so proud of myself!

I mean—what body? Who's that?

Oh great. The trial if over for today. But hey! I'm getting some great news coverage! I'm so famous! Now everyone will know not to mess with me!

I'm going to go chat with some reporters. Until next time! Mwahaha!

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Reviews appreciated, but not mandatory. However, I enjoy hearing from you. I will not review whore because that's not what I do haha. 


	26. Entry 26

* * *

Bakura's Journal

By Liz

Sometimes, I get bored. And when I get bored, I sometimes look through some of the old thing that I used to do. And then, I get really bored, and I decide to update something that hasn't been touched in a long time.

* * *

You know, Journal, I think that I dislike jail.

This guy, he keeps looking at me! Licking his lips in such a disgusting way that it disgusts me! Disgusting!

I have not yet put together a plan for escape. I have though of it, however, as I sit in this corner, far away from the edge of the cell. BACK OFF I SAY.

Some people might call me crazy. Jail does that to people, you know. It makes them see crazy things in their sleep. Like ghosts. Or food.

Speaking of food. This reminds me of this one time I was in a grocery store! There I was, minding my own business as I was shopping, pushing my cart along. And by "pushing the cart" I mean "running down the aisles", and by "minding my own business" I mean "shouting".

Anyway, I was pushing my cart around looking for random foodstuffs that I could steal—I mean buy…yes—for dinner that night. Ryou put me in charge of collecting certain items for the dinner, he even gave me a list! I told him that I was quite good at collecting things and went my way.

Well, as I was there I ran into the PHARAOH. He was shopping with that Yuugi of his, and they were so stuck together that you would think they were Siamese twins. Honestly! It was creepy. Even more creepy than some TV shows that I watch in the daytime. Some people can't even decide what gender they ARE as opposed to what gender they LIKE.

So they were all stuck together and stuff. I followed quietly behind them, hiding behind my list of food objects so they couldn't turn around and see me.

They then suddenly started making out! In the middle of the cereal aisle! I was mortified, horrified, and just plain disgusted. Tongue and everything!

I glanced over my item list just slightly, as to not give away who I was. But they weren't even paying attention to me anyway. So I started ramming my cart into theirs.

"Excuse me!" I yelled. "Some people are trying to shop here!"

When that failed miserably, I decided to take more drastic measures. The kind that I use in drastic situations at drastic times. Like killing. With my knife.

But this time I just decided to knock them over. I shoved the pathetic wimp right over, and then I pushed Yuugi too. They fell on the floor screaming obscenities about how I shouldn't just "do that" and to "leave them alone". To which I replied "No."

This angered the Pharaoh, because he is always angered when he realizes that I am better than him. Which it's true.

He stood up and yelled something at me. I wasn't listening because I usually don't listen to people who suck.

Then he punched me! Erm…I mean…I punched him, and he fell on the ground and cried like a baby. It hurt! I mean…he must have been hurt.

Forget this story! I must come up with a way to break out of prison. The trial isn't going very well for me, and I need to find some other way to get out of my "responsibilities for my actions", or so my lawyer says.

If only I had all the items, then I could get away! I could get away with anything I wanted, such as murder, torture, and making out with Ryou without him saying "Not tonight I have a headache", or "Sorry, I really just don't want to right now".

Speaking of people not getting any, I imagine that the Pharaoh isn't going to get any for a long time! MWAHAHA.

Maybe I should come up with some kind of awesomely sad sob story to get me out of here. I could claim neglect as a child! I can see it now!

"Oh poor me! My parents never loved me when I was younger!" Says the hot and sexy Me. "Boohoo!"

"Oh you poor thing!" The not-as-good-looking-as-me judge would say. "I'm dropping all the charges!"

"Hurray!" cheers Me.

"Nooooo!!" Yells the really-not-as-good-looking-as-me PHARAOH as he falls on the ground crying. "Why!? WHY!?"

"Because." Says Me as I kick him in the face. MWAHAHAHA.

It is an epic plan without fail.

…quit looking at me you child molester! Yes, you! In that cell over there! Why do you think I'm in the freaking corner you idiot!

NO! STAY BACK! Quit reaching over here you sick pervert! My body belongs to me! Only I have the authority to take advantage of people! Like Yuugi!

…I mean…not like Yuugi!

…I mean…uhm…

SHUT UP! YOU STAY BACK THERE!

Wait, he can't get me! We're in two completely separate cells. Silly me, Journal. And to think I might have actually been afraid.

…where's my eraser!? Afraid!? Me!? HA! I am Bakura the Awesome! I am afraid of NOTHING!

..EEEK GET AWAY! GUARDS! He's escaped! Someone! Get him away! HE'S OUT OF HIS CAGE!

No. NO! DON'T LET HIM IN HERE!! NOOOOO!!

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plz review kthx

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